November 16, It's 3:30 a.m.

Yesterday ended up being a fairly productive day. My grandmother stopped by for her typical two-second visit, but it was nice to get a couple big bear-hugs in. She's glad to have me home, and I could feel that, so seeing her was nice, albeit brief. I also got to see my friend Sarah (who visited me in Lushoto after COSing from Zambia.) Having someone else who has done Peace Corps and who has lived in rural Africa is really helpful with regards to settling back into American life. We obviously had different experiences--she was in Zambia, I was in TZ; she taught health, I taught English; she completed her 2 years, I got medically separated....

Nonetheless, we do have a bond and an empathetic understanding not only of each other's time in Africa, but more importantly, of how difficult/nice it is to be back in Blue Hill. Needless to say, I am just really happy to have a friend who can really get what I'm going through and who can actually commiserate with me about everything involved with PC bureaucracy. Plus, Sarah is just a lot of fun to have around in general!

My mom got off work around 1:30 pm and we headed over to the DMV to renew my license. One of the workers asked my mom if I "passed" as I was filling out my paperwork. Apparently she thought I was sixteen--must be my oversized jeans giving me that rebellious teenager vibe. I really need some new pants.

Speaking of new clothes, I bought a fleece from an outdoorsy store (Cadillac Mountain Sports) we popped into. Black, cozy, and fitted. Perfect. I also experienced the undeniably magical place that is an American grocery store. The gluten-free aisle has expanded in the past six months in my local supermarket--very exciting and tempting! I just can't wait until I can chow down on an Oatmeal-Walnut-Raisin Cliff Bar or some granola with strawberry coconut-milk yogurt. So many things I want to eat....but can't....

In any case, the stress of having to switch life paths really sunk in yesterday. I planned on being gone for 27 months and only left for 5 1/2, and it's hard to know what I really want to do now, and what options are out there. I'm also adjusting to little things like the weather, dishwashers, remembering that people don't understand words like "safi" and "pole" etc.  But I personally find that switching lifestyle gears is easier than switching life-path gears. I need to figure out what my "Plan B" is--what direction I'm going in and where that path starts. But before I do that, I really need to get my health back in order. So...it's just a hard place to be. I'm still kind of here nor there, but I am feeling encouraged by my prospects and by the support I've been getting from people. I know that I will find something great to do, and I'm really hoping the doctors here will be able to help me through a fairly swift recovery. I'm not expecting a miracle, but if I could eat my mom's special Jade-friendly Lobster Eggs Benedict (gluten, dairy-free recipe from heaven!) on Christmas morning, that would truly be amazing. We will see--just having a pile of fruit salad (rather than 1/2 cup of it) that morning would be a glorious step in the right direction.

In any case, I know that I will figure out a new life path that will be fulfilling, but honestly I do need to wait to start regaining my health before I'll really be able to tackle anything like that. For now, I feel like I've come home at the perfect time. It's becoming winter and the air feels crisp, and although the cold takes my breath away, it's fun to break out boots, jackets, and hats. I really love the transition from fall to winter. Plus, my birthday is next week and so is Thanksgiving, and I'm so, so, so excited to be home for Christmas! I LOVE the Christmas season, commercial or not. It's just really nice to be home for the holidays...I feel complete in that way. :)

Anyway, here are some silly things that seem a bit odd to me (culturally) right now:

• Cars go on the correct side of the road. 
• Electricity doesn't zap you, nor is using my computer while it's charging considered "risky". 
• There are things like refrigerators, washing machines, televisions etc. EVERYWHERE.
• You don't have to wait for the water to heat up to take a shower...and the hot water lasts more than two minutes. (Oh sweet water-pressure form the heavens!) Although, I still feel guilty using up too much water at once. I feel like I need to turn the water on and off between scrubbing my hair and rinsing my shampoo out--or at least rinse at great speeds. 
• Fixed, high food prices....everywhere. 
• Generally I blend in physically, though now I stick out as someone that some people are surprised to be seeing back here. 
• There is plenty of water for thoroughly washing vegetables etc. Once again--I'm running on a water-conservation mindset that is hard to break.
• I don't have to necessarily cook in a way that conserves gas. The stove-top isn't going to run out of gas quickly and leave me fuel-less if I use it to boil tea water too many times. Plus, I don't have to lug a tank on a bus and then into town to refill my gas tank. (I suppose it's not bad to still be mindful of not wasting energy, since gas is pricey everywhere, but I don't have to worry so much about it.) Also, the days of using a charcoal jiko are over--though I wouldn't mind grilling with my dad.
• Left-overs can be easily kept AND microwaved here. MICROWAVED! This realization was dulled a bit by living at Leah's house for the past couple weeks--I did have that ability there, too, though it still feels a bit unnatural even now. DING. ZAP. DONE. 
• Wood-stove heat exists and is awesome. 
• I'm in the same time-zone as other Americans...still weird because I'm jet-lagged and not quite here mentally yet. I also just have a hard time sleeping nowadays thanks to being sick, hence being wide-awake at 4:00 in the morning. 
• I can actually think about things like shopping malls and hair-dressers. Woa. 
• It really feels like it's becoming Thanksgiving time and Christmas time here! This is super exciting for me!