October 31, Fruit Bats

Happy Halloween!

I miss Hocus Pocus! And pumpkins! And costumes! To be honest, I even miss the soon-to-come Christmas decorations. I just love Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas--so this is a great stretch of time for me. October through December provides great excitement!

That reminds me: Three weeks until I'm 23! Crazy. I have no idea where I'll be on my birthday...or if I'll be able to have any of the gluten-free cake mix my mom sent. That'd be so great!

The roosters outside Glenn's house woke me up early and I wasn't able to sleep well in general, so I was extra lethargic today. I spent most of the day researching etymology (I'm a dork) and reading the Amber Spyglass. I also sat in the sun for a little bit today and this evening we walked down to see the fruit bats living in Glenn's village. It was very cool to see. They're extremely loud and hang shockingly close together on the papaya and pine trees around here. They were flying around even though it wasn't dark out yet--and screeching quite loudly. They're very yellow in color and have chihuahua faces, and there were hundreds of them hanging in the trees and swarming the air. Kind of a fun spook-takular activity for Halloween!

Anyway, overall today was a better day than yesterday health-wise. I had been getting steadily worse since Friday, but I seem to be stalling the down-hill spiral. I'm not sure if that's really "progress", but I'll take any improvement over how I felt yesterday! I'm hoping eventually I'll actually start feeling healthy and keeping more food and water down, but for now I'm just happy that I'm able to sit up as I write this!

October 30, Laying Around

Today I did a little bit of laundry since I was running low on certain items. I originally only packed for a week of travel, so being gone for two weeks is a bit more of a stretch. I'm still not feeling well enough  to do much of anything, so I've been laying on Glenn's couch. Lately my nausea has been pretty intense, so even sitting is usually overly unpleasant. To resolve this, I am switching protein powder types and continuing my probiotics--I hope that helps things improve. My body isn't happy with me at all, but I really am hoping things change over the next two weeks. Being sick for months is pretty frustrating, but I'm hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel.

The medical office (OMS) in Washington, DC is okay with me continuing service for now, but will medically separate me if I don't get better. I'm really happy I'm getting the chance to resolve my health issues! I was worried they might freak-out about the fainting spell I had and cut my service short, but for now I'm still being given leeway. I'm very thankful for that.

So far there's no timeline on when I need to get better by, nor what "better" really means. Dr. Makwabe also doesn't really seem to be sure what will qualify me as too unhealthy to serve, so I guess I just need to focus on getting better for now, and worry about medical separation should I get to that point. It's just hard not to wonder what would lead them to pull the plug. I suspect it has to do with weight, but I'm not sure.

These next couple of weeks are going to be an interesting sort of limbo-land, but I'm trying to enjoy myself as much as possible.  It's great to see Glenn and Hannah, and I also think being back in Dar next weekend will be nice. Leah's house is ridiculously nice, and I enjoy being in an urban environment. Electricity is fun! Although, it's funny to me that it's such a big deal to lose power in the US for a couple hours. I lived in a site with NO electricity to be found. People here do it their entire lives. Even when I am in Lushoto, my banking town, our power cuts out all the time. Last night it went out for a number of hours, though it's back today. People in the US don't know how good they have it. If there's one thing I've learned, it's to appreciate what you have---especially the simple things. I also now recognize a lot of conveniences as superfluous, but I will admit that luxuries like western toilets and hot showers are very nice to have. When I do wind up back in the States, doing laundry in a machine is going to be awesome, but I don't mind doing it by hand, either. Having a fridge will be great, but I also know how to cook single serve meals. It's all in how you look at things.

Nonetheless, not having a site/having health issues does make things feel weird right now. My mind has a lot of down time and room to wander. But I try to keep myself from indulging negative or worrisome thinking, and instead think about the good things in my life. I have good friends, family, and staff behind me. For now I'm still keeping my optimism up! I can get through this! As my mom's friend Sarah said, I am "Super Jedi"!

October 29, To Glennifer's House We Go

I can't believe that it's almost November! Time really flies! It's crazy to think of winter coming back home when it's so hot outside right now, though nights in Lushoto do get quite chilly! I got adjusted to Dar's heat, so the cool nights here haven't been my favorite...at least I don't have to deal with Hurricane Sandy, though! Good luck to you all back on the East Coast!

Anyway, Tony, the owner of Lawns, gave us a ride to Glenn's house this morning. It was super nice, but something atypical for him to do as far as I can tell. Tony is Greek, but was raised here in Tanzania. He seems to have family located in a lot of places. His sisters live in Australia and his brother lives in Morogoro, but I'm not sure about everybody else. He's big into soccer, has a long white-haired ponytail, and fairly ruddy complexion. His Land Rover is 17 years old and is covered with uncouth bumper stickers. A.K.A. "Perfect Woman: Nymphomaniac with a Liquor Store." He's a very interesting man, and him giving us a ride out all the way out here was very sweet. I think he is just concerned that I'm not feeling well, and wanted to make sure I made it to Glenn's house okay. Regardless, it was a very nice gesture, and I'm glad we didn't have to pay for a cab.

In any case, this weekend wasn't a good one for me health-wise, nor has today been going very well so far. I am hoping I start feeling better soon, but as of right now I'm just laying on Glenn's couch and sipping Hibiscus tea now and then. I started the probiotics and protein powder on Saturday, but I'm not sure how long it will take for those to start working. I really hope my health starts going back uphill rather than continuing on this down-hill trend. I am really excited for IST and our PCV "Prom", so that's giving me something to look forward to.

Right now I'm waiting for Hannah to stop by. She lives very to Glenn's site and has finished her teaching and lesson planning for the day. Glenn has a busy week of tree planting and American-voyage preparation, and he's going out shortly to do some work on his tree nursery. I think I'll be spending a lot of time reading this week--glad I have my kindle! I also hope to fiddle around with his guitar a bit--it's cute and travel sized as it's made for a student rather than an adult. I'd recommend such a thing for future PCVs who have any sort of musical inclination. That, or a ukelele. It's nice to have something to do here that doesn't require electricity or the company of other people.

October 28, Halloween Was a Success!

So, our Halloween gathering was quite the hit! I had fun in my Little Merjade costume--it came out GREAT. I was totally amongst friends so it was okay that my costume was something you'd never wear out and about in TZ. (It is very safe here at Lawns in general, so it was the perfect place for a costume party.) In fact, there were no problems of any sort last night aside from a couple of us just not feeling super well. It was just a fun time with friends, so that was really nice. Cake and brownies were made and eaten for the occasion, and we were given some free wine by the owner Tony. I definitely can't drink anything aside from water and tea right now, but I still had a lot of fun. I'm really happy the PC let me come back to Lushoto for the weekend--I needed to see my people!

Ezra and I danced to "Gangnam Style", which was fun, but completely depleted whatever energy I had remaining post-fainting spell. I made it a couple more songs before sitting down and then eventually wound up going back to my room to lay down. I can't wait to be active and healthy again!! Normally I can dance for hours, but I just really haven't been feeling well enough to do anything physical.

I'm hanging in Lushoto today. I decided to stay here until tomorrow morning. I'll head to Glenn's site tomorrow. I may go out and do something soon because I'm getting a little stir-crazy. Fresh air is in order one way or another I think!

October 27, Market Blackout (Round 2)

So, today hasn't been optimal health-wise. I didn't do well yesterday in terms of holding things down and ended up getting extremely dehydrated. I started "operation-rehydration" this morning, but apparently it was a little too late. I picked up my packages (two arrived! probiotics!) and then went to help Ezra pick out some gifts for his friends back home. As we were looking at fabrics I suddenly realized I was going to faint, and for the second time in the Lushoto market, I blacked-out. Fortunately after regaining my consciousness and vision, I was given a ride back to Lawns by the owner, Tony, who had his car at the bank. I spent the remainder of my day hanging at Lawns in my hotel room. Hannah made beautiful Halloween decorations and I finished my Little Merjade costume. We made a play-list and I rested. We are having a small Halloween celebration/goodbye party for Ezra. It should be really nice!

Anyway, I am very happy I finally have my long-awaited package full of canned protein, probiotics, and protein powder. Hopefully things will start improving and this plan will work! I really just want to be healthy! So far today I've been just trying to rehydrate as much as I can. We will see how things go. Chronic sickness is not fun in any way, nor is it fun to freak out a bunch of Tanzanians by fainting in front of their duka. But I'm optimistic and hoping I'll see some turn-around within the next two weeks! Wish me luck!

October 25, Good News!!

I have been calling various people and chatting on FB, so I'm going to present today in short-form. I received a lot of info--mostly good--about what is happening. I had a meeting with the country director, EB, who gave me a lot of answers! She's a total sweetheart. She reminds me a lot of my mom's friend Joan, who I consider a second mother. Talking to her was very comforting, even though the topic at hand is serious. She's great.

• 1) I will be going to Lushoto tomorrow, as I wanted! I'm hoping to pick up my package this weekend, but as of this morning it still wasn't there. Makes me nervous that it won't be there, but I'll be in Lushoto until next Friday, so it's bound to arrive by then I think. I JUST REALLY NEED THAT PROTEIN POWDER AND THOSE SUPPLEMENTS! Otherwise, I'm kind of stuck in the sick-and-never-improving-boat. ALSO, I get to see my Lusho-crew! It's Ezra's last weekend! It should be a good time! 
• I will be spending my time at Glenn's house, so I'll be able to cook for myself and maybe write some songs with him. :) I bought a guitar today for 50,000 shillings from another volunteer who is now an RPCV. The neck is slightly cracked, which is why she sold it to me so cheaply. (An acoustic guitar for $32?!....I'm okay with a little crack. It still sounds quite nice!) 
• Hilda, my APCD, will be looking for a replacement site. It should have easy access to fruits and vegetables, and hopefully protein. I should be going to that site in around two weeks. So basically, it breaks down like this: Next week I will be in Lushoto. The week after that I will be back in Dar, staying here at Leah's house. The week after that I will be at my NEW site. 
• My new headmaster/headmistress will be informed that I am not doing well physically, and that things may not work out. So there isn't pressure there, and they should know that I'm coming in with a medical condition. 
• If I am not getting better, I ultimately can 'pull the plug' on staying here. The PCMOs also have discretion to suggest that I be medically evacuated or medically separated. Nonetheless, there are options like "interrupted service", so I could potentially come back even if such a decision is made. I'm not there yet, so I'm not going to worry about such things until I get there. BUT, basically I have a lot of say in the process of what happens next, which is really nice. I'm not the kind of person to give in, so it will take a lot for me to call it quits, but the option is there if I need it. Hopefully I make a quick turn around, but if I don't, my options aren't just one big dead end. Or so they say for now! 
• I will be getting all my things from site next Friday (November 2nd). Hopefully it is all still there! 
• OMS doesn't consider me the kind of person who is just trying to get out of service, but unable to admit that's whats behind my illness. EB also seems to really think I'm a solid volunteer-- I feel really good about that.

In short, I'm in a much better place than I thought I was! I'm still in limbo, but not horribly lost. I have a timeline of when things will be happening, and I am being reassigned a site. Basically it's just a question of whether or not my health improves. I am bound and determined to get better, and I hope I will be able to lead a sustainable life here. I am SO happy that I talked to our country director (CD), and I'm excited to go to Lushoto tomorrow! It's going to be great! Little merjade live in action! 

October 24, Mlola will no longer be "Home"

Today I woke up and had a nice chat with Jarrett, the South African who is staying in Leah's house (my ex-pat) until December. He is a visiting artist who works with her. The house is decorated with a lot of cool ocean-prints and portraits, so she seems to be a good artist on top of being a diplomat. I also met a friend of hers who does projects out in Lushoto--good contact to make! I just got back to her house now--it's about 7:30 pm. I had a really hard time finding the place in the dark. I took a bajaj (three-wheeled motorcycle taxi of sorts) and he looped around a couple times before we identified the correct house. It's hard to tell what's what in this neighborhood because everything is fenced in with security guards, but I actually did remember the right house! I just wasn't positive I remembered right...I guess I just need to trust my instincts!

I spent most of the day with some of the other COS'ers at an RPCV's house. He had a HUGE TV, mini-gym, AC, fridge, and so on. Colin and Mike (the two people I spent most of the day with) played a lot of video games. Super safi house! Being an ex-pat really means you get to live in style. In any case, I enjoyed myself this afternoon. Socially anyway. I've given up on my body making things easy. I also did a little bit of shopping--RETAIL THERAPY!

By the way, RPCV's are Returned Peace Corps Volunteers--so basically everyone here this week will be getting that title at one point or another.

Anyway, they still haven't been able to find the medicine I need for my ear in any of the pharmacies around here. I'm hoping tomorrow they'll have it in the office for me since I spent half the day with my ear feeling like it was underwater. The tube isn't working correctly, so my hearing has been cut in half on the right side, and sometimes it feels like I'm on an airplane or in a swimming pool. Other times I just don't hear properly.

Anyway, bigger news:

I found out that the two other teachers in Mlola have left my school as they don't feel safe. The police don't seem to be doing much, and my site will no longer be my site. I'm happy in the sense that I don't want to go back to an unsafe place, but I'm pretty bummed out that things didn't work out there. I love my mkuu and her nieces, I was finally getting established in the town, and I was SUPER excited about my library project. I've been putting a lot of time into my house, and I've spent money on furniture, in addition to building a strong rapport with many of my students. I also love being near Lushoto, and I really don't want to change banking towns or be far away from my Lusho-crew. Hopefully I'll find out soon where I'll be staying and for how long. The issue is that I may be medically separated, so they aren't going to find a site for me until I am medically cleared. Unfortunately, my package still hasn't arrived, so I'm kind of waiting idly for my protein powder and probiotic supplements. I'm not sure how much time I have to get better, nor whether I'll be in Dar or staying with another volunteer, so I'm very much in limbo-land. Despite this, I feel pretty good about things. I had a lot of fun today, and I'm trying to see this week as a kind of mini-vacation. It's nice not to have to work while feeling sick, and I'm enjoying my time here despite all the tumultuous stuff that's happening. I'm staying as positive as I can. I think I have a good chance of sticking through things and making it all two years, but I also know I have a good chance of being sent back home. Really I'm not sure which is more likely yet....I'm trying not to speculate for now, and instead focusing on enjoying my time here while it lasts, but it is a pretty serious spot to be stuck in....

I must say it does feel like the Tanga curse is taking hold again. I can feel the ice getting thinner below my feet. I am glad that the staff are very kind and helpful, though. I can tell they really do care, and that's nice. On the other hand, it is hard to be in such a weird place right now. I'm just trying to roll with it, but it's especially difficult since I'm also dealing with the fact that my bf and my friend Brittany won't be coming back to TZ. The Lushoto team is dwindling fast it seems--especially since Ezra is COS'ing next week. (CONGRATS TO A SURVIVOR OF THE TANGA REGION!) But hopefully things will pan out in the end--one way or another. Maybe I'll get healthy and be put in a nice, new site that's close to lot's of good food I can eat! That would be ideal. But I'm also acceptant of the fact that if my body doesn't start getting better, it is important for me to go back to the states and get help. I'm trying not to panic or freak out, and I'm staying level-headed for now. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up the positivity--so wish me well I guess?

I honestly would just like to be healthy. Being sick is exhausting. And dehydration and poor nutrition are definitely taking a toll on me. It's hard to refuse food from the host country nationals, and it's also unfortunate that I can't really eat out and celebrate COSing with the other PCVs while here in Dar. Food is a big deal socially! And it is nice to go out with everyone, but it does suck I can't order along with them.

In short, I really like being in Tanzania, and I want to volunteer all 24 months. I think I'm good at lesson planning and I'm getting better at teaching. I think my Swahili will improve, and I'm getting more comfortable socializing and dealing with feelings of personal space invasion. I guess it all depends on how quickly my body improves, though. My health will determine if I'm able to keep volunteering here realistically. I know there's no point in being in TZ if I'm deteriorating into a stick figure, so the question really is: Will I get better here, and how long will it take?

Also...how long will the PC give me?

October 23, Ears

So, I'm feeling positive today! Hoping to get some more information this afternoon about what is going on health and site wise. They should get my blood work back this afternoon, and I'm hoping to talk to Joel about my mkuu's situation ASAP. Things are going to be okay!

I'll be moving to an ex-pat's house after 5:00 today--hoping it's going to be really safi! I have a terrible headache today, but I'd be down for a movie on a big screen TV.

I went to the doctor--they sent me to a really nice hospital down by the ocean! He looked at my ear and prescribed me drops. He also told me to do this weird breathing exercise since something is wrong with the tube that goes from my inner ear to my throat. Apparently forcing air through the tube should help. If it doesn't work, I'll have to get some fancy diagnostic test to find out what is going on. I have been having issues with my right ear, and my hearing is being adversely effected. Hopefully things will resolve themselves quickly in that regard! Stomach-wise I'll be in limbo for a while I think...

ADDITION:

So, I'm sitting at the ex-pats house. She's young and really cool. She kind of fell into a job at the embassy, which is neat. Super speedy internet and a really nice place, though no TV as I had hoped. The bathroom is killer, though.

I am not feeling well head or stomach wise tonight, so I may lay low. I do want to go hang out with the other PCVs, though. They're really fun! I just wish I could eat and drink with them, but having company is enough for me. :)

I'm trying to get permission to go back to Lushoto on Friday to get my package. PC couldn't find my probiotics or protein powder unfortunately. I'm hoping that they'll have a site decision tomorrow. I told them about my previous sexual harassment issue since it may be linked to what happened--who knows. Blood-work came back normal!

October 22, 10 Positive Things

1. I had a GREAT evening with the other PCVs. They're a really fun class! And I met a fellow Poli Sci-Italian major who is one year into service! So cool!
2. The Peace Corps staff is SUPER supportive. I feel very well taken care of by them.
3. I love being anywhere warm/hot, so Dar is really nice for me!
4. I was able to buy lot's of canned fish today, coconut oil, teas, and a dietary supplement that I figure can only help me at this point.
5. I have the best friends here and back home. And a great, loving family.
6. I'm going to have a little merjade outfit for Halloween one way or another--so awesome.
7. Glenn Legacki and I have determined we have the EXACT same hair color. We have deemed it angelic gold. It's awesome, and we recognize others may be jealous of our demigod locks.
8. I can take a hot shower here! And use electricity! And have lights at 11:42 pm!
9. I am learning to navigate my way around Dar es Salaam better, and so far it has been tranquil where I've been going! *Knock on wood*
10. I know that ultimately I can get through this. What that means, I'm not sure yet, and I don't have total control over whether or not I stay etc. But I do know that I'm finally going to be given the tools I need to get healthy. I'm also being given the time I need to be safe. Joel is taking the incident with my mkuu very seriously, so I know that I won't be put at a site that's dangerous. That's great. I'm glad I'm in good hands. Honestly, I am hoping I can turn my health around. In the end I hope to push through this rough patch and be one of the toughest PC volunteers to ever serve in Tanzania. If my health doesn't improve, however, I will be happy to do what I need to do to get better. I'm going to give it my all....Health and safety are big priorities for me, but I'm also not one to give in easily. I will make sure that whatever happens is in my own best interest, and so will PC, but I'm also not going to throw in the towel just yet. Whatever happens, I have options, so I feel good knowing in my heart that I will get through this whether it means staying here or winding up back in the states.

October 22, Bad Day

So, today I received the following news, that I still am processing:

• The PC will be providing me with probiotic supplements and most likely also with protein powder. This hasn't been given to me yet, but hopefully soon. I'm very happy!
• If the probiotics and protein powder don't work, I will medically evacuated to see a gastroenterologist. I will also be medically separated, meaning my service will end. This is because I can't continue on being sick like this and serve as a volunteer, so it makes sense, but I do REALLY want to be here, so I'm going to try to stay.
• My mkuu (headmistress) was attacked at 7 pm last night. She was walking back to our school compound from the church, and beaten with stones etc. She's okay, but leaving Mlola. She will also be transferring schools if she can, and advised me not to go home. Peace Corps is investigating WHY it happened, and if my site is safe to eventually return to.
• I will be staying in Dar all week. I may switch to staying with an ex-pat family, but I'm not sure. For now I'm happy at the Econolodge since I have lot's of volunteer company.
• I can find coconut oil and canned fish here in Dar.
• I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow about an ear problem I've been having. I'm also going to chat with a counselor about everything that's happened in the last month.

It's been quite the day. Not sure how I'm feeling.

October 21, One Month Until My Birthday

Today I was feeling very inspired on my bus ride to Dar. I'm going to beat this sickness! I have to! And I'm going to travel and see awesome things, be a great volunteer, and study for the GRE in my spare time. And make my house awesome.

Woot!

Anyway, despite my burst of optimism and inspiration, the ride to Dar was fairly unpleasant. I was sandwiched between a girl who threw up the entire way there (who also had 3 chickens in tow that alternated between flipping out and sleeping) and a family with a 3-month old that definitely soiled its diaper about 2 hours into the 8 hour journey. My back was also terribly uncomfortable from the angle of the seats, and I felt sick on top of my usual car sickness, so I was glad to arrive in Dar after sitting all that time!

I took a taxi to the hotel and got a room here, then met up with a bunch of the kids who are COS'ing. We watched a little Tv and then we all went out for dinner. They got HUGE burgers at this fast-food joint here in the city. I was a bit envious. I normally can't have burgers like that, though, so I guess it'd be about the same even if I was healthy and able to eat much right now. On my best day I have no bun, no cheese, no mayo, no fun.

On our way back to the Econolodge we saw a car get hijacked! I've never seen grand theft auto live-in-action before. A crowd chased after the speeding vehicle, but as far as I could tell the driver managed to get away. At least for now...I'd be scared to be a thief that's caught in this country.

I'm going in to the office early tomorrow to figure out what tests they're running etc. Hopefully I get some probiotics from the office! And some answers!

October 20, People Touching My Face

So, I'm off to Dar tomorrow. Going to hang out with the COSing kids I hope. (Volunteers who have completed their two years and are getting ready to head out.) Today was an interesting day emotionally and physically...I'll leave it at that.

Anyway, for some reason people touch me a lot here. Yesterday I had a girl walk by and very intentionally touch my face...unpleasant, but not the first time that's happened. I am not really sure why this occurs, especially to me. I also got another marriage question today--whipped out my ring and said I was engaged. Woot.

There are riots in Dar so I'm hoping things won't be too chaotic there. I'm headed out at 8:00 in the morning, so I'll be there sometime in the afternoon. It was good hanging out with the Lusho crew, though I'm very sad my packages didn't come.

October 19, No Notebooks or Paper

I'm sitting at Tumaini right now--the back part. There is an inside restaurant that is warmer, but costs more, and an outside restaurant that is outside and costs less. I've got my Marmot fleece on, plus my north face outer-layer, leggings, a dress, and a khanga wrapped around my legs. It's getting more comfortable as the sun is coming out, but Lushoto is cold this early in the morning. It gets hot during the day, but very chilly at night! Same deal in my village--I sleep with multiple blankets, but during the day it's often in the 80's.

I think I'm going to do some e-mailing, photo-tooling, and possibly start my library write-up. I was feeling inspired on the bus. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL on the way here today. Lot's of fog covering the mountains in very interesting, and frankly breathtaking, ways. I wish I could have taken photos! I try not to bring my iPhone or camera with me since I'm already carrying a lot of stuff I don't want to lose. Plus, I already stick out a lot, and I'd prefer not to look touristy to a bus of tired Tanzanians at 5:30 in the morning.

Yesterday was fairly frustrating. I wrote out my test on flip chart paper to save time and hand cramping. I figured using colored markers to point out important points would also help them understand/follow the exam directions. I wrote the test in the style of the Form II NECTA exam that they'll be taking next November. (Fill in the blank with the correct verb, multiple choice reading comprehension, re-write the sentence correctly etc.) I put the test up on the board, only to find out that NONE of them had paper. Not a single student. Those who did have notebooks didn't have blank paper in their notebooks, or otherwise refused to rip it out. I had been told by my mkuu that it is the students' responsibility to have paper, and they did for the last quiz, so I got pretty frustrated by the whole thing. The academic master (Chambitwe) wasn't around, so I couldn't get access to any paper in his "resources" room. I ended up scrounging around and finding some blank sheets in the staff room in a random notebook (not sure if I was allowed to rip paper out of it, but I'd already emptied my own last notebook so I had nothing else to offer). After that didn't suffice, I had JB find me a couple more sheets. In the end some students had to write on the back of the used pieces of paper I had left in my notebook.

Based on this experience, I think next year I'm going to supply my students with an English notebook. I will probably have to pay for it, but I'm considering asking for donations/seeing if there's some funding I can get to also get them some pens, rulers, etc. I also REALLY want to type up my tests, though it is expensive to do that as well. I think I might do hand-written quizzes and typed tests to save money, but also improve the quality of my assessment measures. Typed tests would save a lot of time (they copy EVERYTHING down when they take a test, so most of them take a long time writing out directions, even if I tell them they don't need to) and help eliminate cheating. Rulers would also be very helpful since they have a practice here of underlining their answers (all answers apparently must be underlined with a perfectly straight line). This is an issue as only a couple students actually have a ruler. They end up passing rulers back and forth all the time, which makes policing for cheating harder to do. I cracked down yesterday on the talking and the looking-back-at-other-people's-desks, but it is difficult to stop on-looking when some of them literally share desks with each other.

I spent my afternoon grading. This round of tests went better than the last quiz I gave. Last quiz I had two students score zeros. This time the lowest score was an 11%. Last quiz the high was also somewhere in the 60% range, and this time I had one girl score an 83! That is HUGE in Tanzania, since passing is 20% and above. Getting an "A" in American terms is pretty much unheard of, so I'm relatively happy when my students get over 50%. To my satisfaction, 15 out of the 33 students who took the exam did get above a 50. (Eleven students were absent--which is sad, but truancy is common.) The average was a 48. Hopefully by the end of the year I can get them to keep raising their scores. By next year I'd really like to have them all passing by my own American standards. Or at least most of them scoring 60% and up. If a student ever got in the 90's I think I'd leap for joy. (Fortunately for them, I am a big perfectionist, but I have only ever applied unrealistic standards to myself. While I'd like to see them really comprehending the material and TRULY doing well, I am relatively satisfied that the average went up by 14 points this round of testing. Let's hope that's a trend that continues! I want to see lot's of 80s next time!)

Reasons for poor subject comprehension/test results in TZ schools: 
1. The language of instruction is English for all subjects, even though some of them don't know words like "do" or "when". By the end of four years they are pretty much expected to be fluent in English, and there are many extraneous words on the NECTA that no reasonable person would ever use. My Form I kids have completed 3 out of 16 topics that they're supposed to cover this year, and our semester is quickly ending. It's very difficult to handle, and I'm hoping I can make more progress with next year's Form I class since I'll be starting the year with them. As for the kids I have in Form I now, it's a game of trying to catch them up for Form II, while also not rushing too fast.
2. They don't have their own books.
3. There is no school library or designated study space.
4. Many of them don't have notebooks. Or other supplies a lot of the time. So...I'm not really sure how some of them ever study. (I assume they just don't, or otherwise team-up into groups.)
5. They never have been taught to THINK. Only to parrot, mimic, and regurgitate answers and words without even knowing what they mean. (I.E. When I come in to class, even if I don't ask how they are, they say "We are fine." Sometimes I'll say something like, "Wow that was very loud!" Response: "FINE THANK YOU MADAME")
6. They are expected to do a lot of chores at school and at home. Studying and academic success isn't a huge priority for many families.
7. Illness is common. (There is a fundamental misunderstanding about the importance of using soap and warm water before eating with one's hands. A lot of people use soap after they eat with their hands so they don't smell like fish or what not, but before meals they just rinse their hands with cold, un-purified water. Sometimes it's warm. That's nicer. And some people do use silver wear. But you would never use a fork with ugali, and that's a common food here.....I personally use hand-sanitizer.)
8. They have virtually no test-taking skills. If they don't understand one word, they will skip the entire question. They don't know how to use process of elimination on multiple choice exams, and they don't do the easy questions first and then go back--they just sit there for a long time and eventually skip difficult questions entirely. Yesterday many students left questions completely blank, or didn't make it to the end of the exam because they were stuck. I also had a question that involved a bit of critical thinking on the exam, which was an interesting experiment. I gave them a passage about a girl named Jackie's eating preferences. We have gone over likes, dislikes, and preferences pretty extensively, so I wanted to see if they actually have understood what "prefer" really means. I said in one sentence that Jackie liked spinach, and in another sentence I said that she disliked onions. I asked if the following statement was true: Jackie prefers spinach to onions. To my surprise and delight, two students actually said TRUE, but most said false. Anyway, I hope to change their mode of thinking at least a little bit, but it's very hard to do. Suggestions on how to encourage critical thinking and test taking skills are most certainly WELCOME.
9. There are not many teachers here. Most teachers are somewhat flakey in terms of when they show up, and classes are cancelled for strange reasons. Many teachers are transferred, but then replacements are not given for a long time. This week only two of the three staff were present at my school. Plus, next week I'm going to be in Dar for medical reasons, so I'll miss at least one day of class, meaning once again there will be two staff at MOST. There are no substitute teachers, though I will probably host a make-up lesson or two since I really want to get through our unit on daily routines. But really, the lack of staff is a HUGE problem. They have only had temporary science, English, and math teachers at Mlongwema Secondary this year, so there has been no continuity or regularity in Math, Physics, Biology, Chemistry, and English classes.
10. Students are taught to the test (NECTA) and not taught to learn. This is a hard issue to deal with because ultimately they must pass the exam to move on to higher forms of education....

Despite this, I am very excited about my library project. My mkuu is going to meet with an architect in Lushoto and establish building costs. She is also going to look into solar panel costs and computer pricing. I'm working on the write-up, and Chambitwe is going to get a couple students to say why they want a library at their school. Then I'm going to launch my TZ Reads Campaign, and probably apply to some PC grants.

For my birthday/Christmas, I would love donations (1) So I can buy them notebooks, rulers, and pens for the next academic year and (2) So I can get books and building materials for Mlola's Library Project. I will be setting up an official fundraising campaign once I get everything together, but that won't be for a little while.

Waiting for Amy to show up from her village. I'm always the unlucky one who gets here between 6:45 and 7:30 in the morning.

End rant.

October 17, Phone is okay!!!

I am in a GREAT mood for the following reasons:

1. My phone is back to normal! Tough little samsung brick phone.
2. My library project is getting bigger and better! Plans of constructing a library complete with computers, solar panels, and a children's section. Save your pennies! Money goes far here and it could be so wonderful for this community and surrounding schools in the area!!!
3. I am not hungry. That may be a bad sign (appetite loss) but it is nicer than feeling hungry but not being able to satisify that feeling.
4. My bucket bath was hot and wonderful.
5. It was sunny! Charged phone and my kindle is allowing me to internet around.
6. I am going to finally get a medical checkup. And my package is coming. Health is much closer now!
7. I will be in Lushoto Friday! YES!
8. I now know where the mango trees are. January will be amazing!
9. I am listening to music loudly. And Chambitwe is away so he won't mind.
10. My test writing is going well. I love projects, planning, etc.

Sorry for the exclamation points. It is nice to actually feel happy, though. Good day today.

October 17, Uh Oh Speaker....

I had a pretty good day today. My lesson went really well (Boys vs Girls board race worked!) and I managed to spend my morning alone. The other PCMO, Dr. Sulemanji, called to check-in and actually seems interested in helping me! I am going to Dar on Sunday so I can run some tests on Monday. I have been on my diet for three weeks with very marginal improvement, so I am glad I will get checked out. My package should arrive soon, which is what I am banking on to recover, but it can't hurt to make sure everything else is okay. I am worried about my kidneys....I dunno. It will be nice to just make sure I am fully away of everything happening with my body. I have been sick for a very long time now, so it couldn't hurt to make sure I am not anemic or something by now. And my package is in Tanzania so I hope to get it by Friday!!!!!!!!

I cleaned and cooked, then burnt my trash. Then when I was washing out my trash bin, my  phone fell into the water. I removed the battery quickly, but I fear the speaker may be a goner. I am bummed. But hopeful it will revive itself....

I need to write two exams by tomorrow. My head has been killing me, but it must be done. Overall I feel more positive mentally today. When I went to town to get eggs, the local kids all said my name aside from two who shouted "mzungu". I bought candy to give to the three highest test scorers and gave Saumu a lollypop. I felt bad giving Kibena candy yesterday since Saumu seemed a bit jealous. (My mkuu said I am like a mother because I "recognized the importance of Kibena's accomplishment: finishing the NECTA." Nevermind that she is 21 years old and I am only 22. I thought it was sweet and I am glad she appreciated the gesture, albiet small.)

I also have been thinking next year I want to start an English and Creative Arts club. I might also do a writing project with the primary school. Or art workshops. Or English tutoring. I have been flipflopping lately in my long term goals, but I do miss working with younger kids. Right now I am thinking it would be nice to channel these kids' creativity into something meaningul to them. I have ideas...And I will keep everyone posted if such a thing happens. All I know is that my Form One kids LOVE to draw, but have no real resources to explore that part of their brains.  Something will come to fruition...I hope.

October 16, Hokey Pokey

Yesterday marked my two months as an official volunteer. Twenty-two to go! I went to the market twice. The first time I went with Saumu around noon...town was pretty dead and many vendors were not there. My tomato and onion mama was, so now I have more tomatoes than I know what to do with. She is very generous.

Going to the village center the second time was much more stressful. I needed to get kerosene and pick up my laptop from the charging duka. I also bought a bunch of banans for two hundred shillings. Going into town I got a mix of Jedi and Mzungu calls from the local kids. Then classes let out. I think I went by every primary and secondary school kid that went to school yesterday. Most of them were very excited to see me. Some wanted me to go back to the market with them. Others sort of mockingly greeted me. I wasn't in a mood to be laughed at, so I was very happy to get back home.

Today I finished class with a couple songs, per Form 1 and 2's pleading request. I had already gone over time, but stayed anyway. (I did reading comprehension today to work on expressing routines and habits. Not pretty seeing that some groups didn't know words like "do" and "when".) I showed them the hokey pokey and I have never seen a group get so excited about that song! I worked with three year-olds for months, and never once did I generate so many bright smiles and so much hardy laughter. They also love the five little monkeys/crocodile song. Sometimes teaching here really is like being a preschool teacher again. But without diaper changing or finger paint.

I plan to do more reading today and some lesson planning. I have to write a final examination soon for the Form One kids. They will be taking it in mid-November. I am testing them on Thursday to get an idea about just how much they have retained since we started this semester. Hopefully I won't see too many improper uses of the present simple. I have been drilling that with them, so they should get it by now....hopefully.

All I can say is ROTE MEMORIZATION is a TERRIBLE hinderance to one's ability to think cognitively or form thoughts actively. Getting these kids to do anything but copy and spit back anwers is very difficult. Spoon-feeding answers does not do students any good. It just means when they need to form their own thoughts and sentences, that they are totally lost. They say words without connecting any meanings in their brain to them. It is hard and really makes me appreciate my teachers. They always asked thoughtful questions and demanded we come-up with our own ways of processing information.

Second sunny day here in my vil. I love it. I want to stay in the sun forever. My teva tan is rockin by now.

October 14, 4 Hours of Church

Today I went to church. They had a special guest choir, so it went from ten in the morning to almost two in the afternoon. I enoyed the first hour because there was a lot of singing and dancing. By the end of the singing, angry preaching, and skits, however, I really was excited to leave. I was very hungry and dehydrated, which was frustrating once I got home. Right now I cannot drink near meal times, nor can I eat more than a half-cup serving at a time. Needless to say today was hard that way. Anyway, at the end of Church I was given a papaya. It was the third time I was singled out. (I introduced myself and then was pointed out again as a guest. The church was surprisingly full. Most of Mlola's population is Muslim, but I did recognize a couple students. There were more Christians than I thought there would be!)

After eating lunch I spent a couple hours at my mkuu's house. I gave the papaya to my mkuu, but ended up being gifted another papaya by some students. Holy too much fruit!

TZ Tidbits:

If the government wants you to move, you have to. Ultimately they own your land, even if you buy it.

They have no idea what Halloween, Thanksgving, etc. are. But they do know Boxing Day it seems...

You usually have to bribe doctors in the ER to be seen. Votes are also bought via money or khangas.

Trash bags are not sold. I use plastic shopping bags.

Yams are purple on the outside and white on the inside. Oranges are green on the outside.

It is customary to give guests something as a parting gift. Aka my papaya.

Street children are not uncommon here, as orphaned children have nowhere to go.

If you get pregnant you are not allowed to be in school-- as a moral repurcussion.

There is a swahili word for allergy but no one here seems to know it.

October 13, Saturday at Site

I am staying at site until next weekend. Technically I should do this every weekend,but it is always nice to get out, have electricity for a little while, and see other PCVs. This weekend I will be cleaning, reading, cooking, and going to church. I am not really a church-goer, but it will definitely make a lot of people happy and I am curious what it will be like here.

The past couple days I have been a bit low in patience. Teaching here can be extremely frustrating at times. Being sick does not make it easier to feel good about how things are going. I am trying to teach them to think not just parrot answers back to me, but it is hard. I am anxiously awaiting my package. Hopefully I can get it by next Friday!!!

I have been reading more often, though people here don't understand anytime I stay alone for any length of time. In TZ people don't have a culture of reading or writing. There is no electricity, so it isn't like people can watch TV or go online all day. Most activities are social, largely because it is nicer to be with people than alone doing nothing. Most people clean, cook, work, and socialize. They just really don't understand why I would want to be by myself as far as I can tell. My mkuu says it will make me sad and homesick. Others see alone time as potentially scary, especially after dark. I am a pretty social person,but I do like doing things by myself. I am an only child and I know how to entertain myself. I also have things to do, like lesson plan, read, blog etc. More importantly, sometimes being around people here can feel more isolating than just being in my house. I really enjoy going to my mkuu's house, but sometimes having my students come here is just disruptive. Other times the language barrier gets in the way when I am visiting people, or it can just be really dull to watch someone cook for an hour without her involving you in it.

Anyway, my point is that I do need space. But that is fairly incomprehensible at times. I have decided I am going to push for my needed alone time anyway. I do socialize as well, but I don't need to be around people 24/7.

For now I am battling sickness and homesickness. Nonetheless, things are going alright. I am enjoying cooking and I am getting more stuff together for my library. Trying to find the happy things every day! Today that means 90's music, seeing if I have energy for yoga, and inquiring amount cement to fix my walls. Plans, plans, plans!

October 10, Hello Rain!

It is pouring outside, so I believe this is the start of the rainy season!

The rain is very loud on my tin roof, so it sounds like a serious storm has arrived, but really there is still sun in the distance. It is making me homesick for my couch, movies, and little lads popcorn. Not that I could eat that anyway right now, but I am still missing it.

I taught two forms in the same class today. Forms one and two are sharing a classroom.  They have moved Forms 1-3 into a different building so they will not disturb the Form Four kids taking their final NECTA exams. The NECTA is the big set of tests (on each subject) that determines whether or not the students will move on with their schooling. Most fail or get division four, which means they qualify for certain trades but cannot complete A-level education. (You must complete A-level to qualify for University.) The test is taken very seriously. A teacher from a different school invigilates the exam, and a police officer, the mkuu, and another official sit outside the room. They also make the quality of lunch better as far as I can tell. Students were getting chapati and plantain soup rather then a small helping of rice and beans. Siwema and Osi were also helping the cook make food, in addition to two other girls, I assume to help move things along and impress the Ministry. Feasting for a week! Well, not me, but I did make some delicious spinach. Hope it stays down!

I hear thunder!

Anyway, Siwema asked to eat at my house and I said no. Those girls always want food, candy, gifts etc. I sat in the staff room this morning but no other staff came in. I think I may read and nap this afternoon. My body is demanding serious low key living and so is the weather.

October 9, Cloudy but no rain yet....

So, today Hilda observed my Form I class. The school was in a big fuss to make sure everything looked presentable. I had the class sing "Five little monkeys" as an energizer. They can't say the words fast enough to keep the beat, but they improved! I also taught a new version of "I like to eat apples and bananas." I made new verses to drill into their heads that you only use 'eats' with the third person singular. "She likes to eat, eat, eat rice and potatoes (x2)...We like to eat, eat, eat spinach and tomatoes (x2)". I also taught more about preferences. I started class twenty minutes early and actually had my lesson timed perfectly, so the last twenty minutes were improvised. Hilda told me I was "a perfect teacher." She checked out my home and then went to see if the health center house is still available. If so, I get a site buddy!

Anyway, I told Hilda I have been sick for at least a month now since my mkuu has been getting very concerned. I am showing more visible illness symptoms, and people are starting to notice more. I am happy that I seem to be doing okay teaching wise, despite a pretty big lack of energy. We will see how this week goes...I am taking any marginal improvements as potential good signs. Or trying to. Patience is difficult when it's your own health that is suffering. And sometimes it is hard to tell whether or not something is really an "improvement". But that is enough about my health!

The homework I gave them this morning was turned in by noon today. Very eager bunch. Some of them are really getting it. Others...well....it is quite unfortunate to see how many grammar issues they have. Also, most of them have no notebooks. Today I gave away all my remaining lined paper that was in one of my two notebooks. It is a bit frustrating dealing with the resource void at times.

Unrelated....I am excited about Halloween! October is always an exciting month for me. My mom and I are big Halloween junkies. I miss my decorations and the autumn leaves around Blue Hill. This year I will be the Little Merjade!

October 8, Random

So, I am feeling kind of lazy this morning and decided I'd take my time getting ready for the day.

Random observations from my stay here:

1. Mr. Mouse, as I found out last night, can fit under my front door. Sneaky.
2. Students will fill up whatever is possible when re-filling water bins. I now have three full basins, two full small buckets, and my choo bucket is full.
3. If you make friends with mamas in the market, they tend to give you extra produce. I got four extra sweet potatoes yesterday just for being nice to the woman selling them.
4. If you wear jeans or pants, you will get extra male attention.
5. In Lushoto, local girls wear skinny jeans. Apparently in cities it is more accepted for girls to wear pants as well.
6. It is rude to pass anything with your left hand. (This was explained in my early entries. You wipe with your left, making it your "dirty hand")
7. People tend to listen to music from their cell-phones, but I've never seen an actual MP3 player.
8. Students and teachers alike will ask for "gifts" whenever you come back from a trip.
9. Men especially do the same-gender hand-holding.
10. There is pretty much always a fight that turns into a fake fight at bus stands.
11. People will climb on top, across, and into buses while they are moving. They will also run to catch them, hang out dala-dala doors, and expect you to do the same if things are full. Buses stop for no good reason often, but usually won't stop for someone chasing after them.
12. It is common practice to ride on the top of produce trucks. Goal.
13. People constantly ask about your health condition when you are sick. I'm sure they all assume I have a bad case of malaria.
14. Matches are very flimsy here.
15. Most people are able to do things in the dark that I would need light for.
16. Even locals can't really use river water for drinking or cooking unless they boil it first.
17. Children think it's HILARIOUS if you speak to them in their tribal language.
18. It takes forever to have furniture made. Still waiting on my couch and cupboards.
19. Wearing a khanga and storing money in your bra makes you more "African".
20. Mopping is just rubbing a wet rag across the floor and wringing it out in a bucket of water.
21. Older men are pretty much the only males who don't try to creep on you at one point or another.
22. Chalk gets all over you.
23. Meetings often don't happen, or start late. Or probably just don't happen.
24. The grieving process for deaths is pretty short.
25. People will sometimes ask to come to your wedding when you tell them you're engaged.
26. The "ade" sound is very difficult for Tanzanians to pronounce. They make everything end with an "i" or "y" sound, unless you have a name like Tracy. Then you might be called Trace.
27. Jerseys are plentiful and cheap.
28. People have no idea what the English writing on their shirts means. Or must really not care.
29. Any material from Nairobi is 3x the price, and probably 3x as nice.
30. Pillows, cushions, and mattresses often are pretty low quality.

October 7, Waves of Optimism

So, today we got up early to come to town and go to the market. It was an extremely uncomfortable ride down from Ezra's house, but we did get into Lusho in time to tranquilly get breakfast and then make food purchases. I got some sweet potatoes, zucchini, carrots, a small bucket, a salt shaker, and a big water tub. I am also now the proud owner of some new books (including Goodnight Moon--great children's story!), an awesome blanket, and a pepper grinder thanks to Ezra. I plan to nab a pillow and  spice rack in the upcoming future as well....

I'm becoming known around the standi in Lushoto--people recognize I'm the white girl who always goes to Mlola. (And think maybe Amy is going there, too, since they ask her as well.) I got on the bus early today, though it still departed late. I did get a good seat, though! Plus, I started feeling really motivated on my way back to site. I was excited to come home rather than stressed out, even though I plan to stay for two full weeks in my village. I made friends with a mama on the bus by letting her put her bags on my lap so her two small children could sit on her lap for the two hour trip. I also met a nurse who works in the clinic in town, and she was happy to meet me. I got pumped-up about my library project, teaching, making my house MY house, and learning the language slowly. In sum, I just really felt EXCITED.

In the past week I've really started WANTING to be here for the full two years. As many of you know, the first couple weeks I spent at site were very hard for me. I've been adjusting in a lot of ways, dealing with a number of problems, and battling some serious homesickness and comfort-cravings. It's been a challenge to truly feel like I can make it such a long time here, but recently I've been more charged-up about my ability to make an impact in my community, settle-in here, and have fun on a regular basis. (As in, fun at site, not just in Lushoto or Tanga.)

At the same time, I'm also dealing with a fairly big health issue right now, which is weighing on the other side of my brain. I want to make decisions that are best for my body and actually get healthy. I'm keeping in good touch with my doctor back home, and I'm also going to have a long chat with Makwabe on Wednesday (two week mark on the anti-inflammation diet). I have a strong theory about what is going on with my body thanks to my American doctor, in addition to a solution of how to make things better over the course of the next three months. The problem is the waiting game. I'm waiting for my probiotic supplements and protein powder to come in the mail. I'm waiting for my body to respond to the dietary changes I'm making. I'm basically waiting to be well, though it's becoming a long, arduous journey. I know that I will be okay eventually, and I'm being as cautious as possible with my food and water preparation, but it is a challenge right now.

Anyway, when I got back to site I had literally only 1/2 liter of water left in all of my buckets, even though I requested that they be re-filled. I also had to pay to have someone help me carry things back, even though I originally thought the guy was just doing me a favor. I did clean and unpack, which felt good. While cleaning, I noticed one of my tomatoes had a bite taken out of it--I suspect Mr. Mouse came visiting while I was away. I need to find how he's entering my house so I can block the entrance. Or just get a cat...

...I'm probably going to get a cat. ASAP.

Also, I think I'm going to patch my cement walls so I can actually paint them. I think about it constantly, so eventually it's just going to have to happen. Maybe once I get a good paint roller and have a little more energy!

October 6, 4 Months in Country

Today I had to pay WAY too much money for two hard-boiled eggs. 2000 shillings! Ridiculous! I suppose it was worth it since I squatted at Tumaini from 6:45 am until about 12:30 pm. The electricity cut out all over town, however, so I didn't get to charge anything until tonight. I also had a lot of ginger tea, which was delicious and good for my belly. I am glad they let us just hangout there, so I shouldn't complain too much.

We stayed at Ezra's tonight to pick up some things before he COS's. We watched "Volunteers", which is about Peace Corps in 1962. It stars Tom Hanks and was pretty fun to watch. I also managed to keep down some salad for dinner! (Lunch didn't go so well, but I'm taking the good over the bad. I'm also going to chat some more with the PC doctor next week just to make sure I can be as healthy as possible over the next weeks/months.) The others also had popcorn with nutritional yeast. Looked delicious!

On Tuesday Hilda is coming to observe me teach. I'm curious how that will go and what feedback I'll get since I really haven't been at it all that long. The rainy season is also on its way. It's going to be interesting, that's for sure!

It's been good to be with the Lushoto crew. It's always nice to see them, socialize, and vent. I have been in Tanzania for four months today EXACTLY. Crazy!

October 5, Five Little Monkeys

I wrote a blog post for yesterday, but it seems to have disappeared. Strange...

So, today no teachers were at the school at all, so I randomly taught my Form I's two "Five Little Monkeys" songs. They particularly  loved my "snapping" and use of hand gestures in both songs. They quite enjoy singing and dancing, which is really fun. I hope to teach lot's of kids songs! Suggestions welcome!

I did chores this morning and graded some papers. They did better this round!! A bunch of my female students pestered me all day long about letting them help me clean, so eventually  I broke down and let them wash my floor and do a couple dishes. I feel really bad having them do stuff like that, but they were getting fairly upset at me for saying no. I think about 10 of them hung around my house for about an hour this afternoon. They are a fun group and joke around a lot, although I do feel very awkward having them critique how I cook, hang my clothes, etc. In Tanzania, there is only one way of doing things: their way. My use of liquid dish soap was also baffling to them. Many joked that it was juice.

This afternoon Kibena took me to the butcher, but I didn't really trust the (expensive) meat I got. I gave most of it to Saumu, along with most of a cabbage, and then decided not to eat the pieces I kept. Something just didn't seem right about it smell-wise, and I don't want to risk food poisoning when my health is already fairly compromised!

October 4, 2:00 in the Morning

Well, I'm awake at 2:12 am. I talked with my doctor back home a little before 12:30 am to get some advice about what to do with my body. I'm being sent some probiotic supplements and protein powder since I really haven't been getting any better over the past week. (Part of me almost wonders if I've been getting a little worse.) Anyway, apparently it may take up to three months to get my body back on track. The theory is that the combination of greasy, fried, carby foods and the onslaught of illnesses/antibiotics has led me to the unhealthy state I'm in now. In short, my body is very angry at me.

My doctor did tell me to cut out nuts for now since the oils in them can also be irritating to an inflamed stomach, though I will be able to add some oatmeal into my diet soon. I also think I'll have the occasional banana now and again starting next week. I do feel pretty frustrated, however. It's hard enough completing this kind of diet in the states, but in TZ it's very difficult. I bought sweet potatoes on Monday and they were already covered in an inch of mold today. Plus I have to avoid being anywhere near the staff room during lunch since it's very difficult to explain that I have even more food restrictions than I originally stated. (I told them no peanuts, milk, wheat, or chocolate the first day I got to site--so many allergies!) There also just isn't much vegetable variety, though I am blessed to have cheap avocados available. In other news, I'm going to try buying meat on Friday. It's going to cost me a lot, and I'm probably going to have to buy more than I'll feasibly be able to eat in a day. I guess I'll give some away to my mkuu. It's times like this I miss refrigeration and stuff like deli chicken and smoked salmon.

Anyway, today teaching went well. I went over their tests (average score was 35%, which is passing by TZ standards, but still sad) and explained the Present Simple vs. Present Continuous. I even explained the rules out in Swahili so they'd really understand. We played a couple games to practice making correct sentences, and at one point they randomly burst into the song "If you're happy and you know it." They sing a different version here with a "ha-ha" sound as the second verse. (Apparently Tanzanians only can feel happy, because the only thing that varies in the song is the action being made, not the feeling being expressed.) I taught them the "If you're sad" and "If you're angry" verses as well, which they thought were pretty funny.

My gate was finally finished today! It's very hard to close but I'm ecstatic to have more privacy. While my my male students worked on the gate door, my female students came by the groves to my actual door. Some even entered, but I'm not a fan of that. I was in the middle of cooking spinach in my kitchen, so I wasn't terribly hospitable. Once I finished cooking I did give out some water (I taught them they must say "PLEASE" when asking for things) and then gave Siwema an English lesson. I think about 15 students watched me write down grammar exercises, and many of them participated in the practice exercises I did with her. I did an "Is this sentence correct or not?" exercise from one of my teaching books.

Saumu came over to visit a couple times today, and I went over to her house at around 7:00 to have some tea and chat. My mkuu is gone, but I really do love those girls so I decided to visit anyway. They're total sweethearts and always very chatty. Kibena asked for my phone number, even though we live pretty much right next to one another.

OH, I found out that Juma (JB) will be moving along with his wife into Emmanuel's house. His wife is going to be my Swahili tutor, and JB is probably going to be my counterpart, so this is good news! (Team JB-JB in action!). I am really starting to enjoy site more. I have much more space, I'm able to cook for myself and choose when I bathe, I get social interaction but also time alone, and I really do enjoy lesson planning. I'm hoping that being in the Peace Corps will help me narrow down what I want to do for graduate school/work once I'm back stateside. I am interested to see how I end up liking teaching over the next two years. So far I think things could be going better in the classroom, but I do like coming up with creative ways of teaching grammar, vocabulary etc.

In short, things are going a lot better for me in my village! I'm feeling good about being here and actually really want to stay the two years. Sometimes it's hard not to daydream about America, but my school really needs my help, and I do feel productive. My library project is getting going, and based on my Form I kids interest in drawing, I'm also starting to think of ways I can channel their artistic creativity.

I am very frustrated about my health, so I hope it doesn't take a full three months for me to feel better. I really want to start exercising, so I might start doing some yoga if running is overly fatiguing. For now I'm going to keep eating heaps of vegetables, small amounts of meat, and hopefully some fish once it makes it in the mail. (My mom is an amazing woman and she's sending me salmon, tuna, and chicken packets in the mail. I can't wait to have more than just eggs for protein!) On the plus side, it is pretty cheap for me to get food since I eat a very small amount every day. I do hope soon I'll be able to eat and drink more. There is a bag of gluten-free pretzels sitting in my kitchen with my name on it, so I can't wait until I can have some.

Also, I'm about 100 pages into "Into the Wild." Sometimes I wish I was a little less inhibited, but I am glad not to have "itchy feet"....

October 2, Mouse in My House

So, I have been finding mysterious corn kernel piles around my house for a couple weeks now. They’re always in corners, usually in my kitchen, but twice in my bedroom. Part of me has wondered if somehow the bag of corn kernels I have has been making its way across the floor, and another part of me has been feeling like I’m going crazy. Tonight I confirmed that there is, in fact, a visitor in my house.  (I screamed like a Justin Bieber fan/little girl/pre-pubescent boy.) Fortunately it is not a huge rat or anything, but I’m still kind of grossed out and confused how a mouse is continually entering my home. I went and got my mkuu but the mouse managed to escape by the time we got back to my house. I may invest in a cat and create my own live “Tom and Jerry” show. I wish I could get a Maine Coon Cat. That would be awesome.

Anyway, today I gave a quiz to my students. It was very simple and I graded super easy (gave up to 3 bonus points on a quiz that was only out of 27 points), but they still did pretty poorly across the board. I even had two students score “0”, though to be fair they actually didn’t manage to finish the quiz within the hour I allotted them. The high point of the quiz results was the one student who got a 73—a big outlier for the group. Nonetheless, that one 73 gives me hope that I can turn things around for these kids. I’m also hoping that part of the low scores were due to an inability to understand test directions/ a general lack of knowledge about how to take tests efficiently. I will find out I guess!

Tomorrow I will be going over the four topics I tested the class on: The Present Simple Tense, The Present Continuous Tense, Question Words, and “Expressing Likes/Dislikes”. I was going to go over food vocabulary some more tomorrow, but now that’s forcibly postponed. Today I brought in a basket of food to class to teach food vocabulary, which seemed to really excite them/make them laugh. They also enjoyed my illustrations from what I can tell.

Today I also helped give test-taking strategies to the Form 4 students. It was a really long seminar, since each teacher gave some kind of NECTA advice or “life after Form 4” advice.  The girls were encouraged to hold off on marriage and babies, etc. It was good advice but pretty boring to sit through, especially since it was ALL in Swahili. Hopefully they’ll actually do a bit better on the exam next week, though I'm not sure if waiting to teach test-taking skills until the week before a big exam is really the best strategy. 

My mkuu is leaving again tomorrow, and JB is also going away on Thursday. Emmanuel leaves forever Friday, and I probably will go to Ezra’s on Saturday. Deserters galore! In any case, I have been going to the staff room during the morning hours to talk a bit with the other temporary teachers. Hopefully that counts as integrating? Today they all laughed hysterically when I told them beating children was against my moral beliefs and that corporal punishment is illegal in America. I didn’t really appreciate how hard they laughed at me. I don’t mind being the running American joke most of the time, but it just really seems rude to mock someone’s moral beliefs. Oh well. Today was a bit rough on a personal and health level, but I do feel productive and generally satisfied with what I got accomplished.  

October 1, Teaching Aids

So, today was a satisfying day overall. I went to the staff room in the morning and wrote out a quiz for my Form I kids. The other staff were very excited to see me there, and I was taught a couple Swahili words. I also made food flash cards for my lesson tomorrow. I am not a wonderful artist, but everyone was majorly impressed. A lot of my students asked me to draw them, too. I stuck to my pineapple and eggplant sketches.

Saumu escorted me to the market and then watched me make dinner. My lack of oil use blew her mind. I also had a lot of students stop by. Some wanted to see pictures and others asked for the stickers they saw laying on my coffee table. I had two water requests and a couple pen giving requests, so I kept the pens and gave away some drinking water.

Whenever I go to town I see a ton of primary school kids. Many know my name now. I really hope to do a project with them. Secondary school is not my age group of choice.

Anyway, it was a good day overall. I am just hoping this diet starts working soon. Life will be fabulous once I am healthy again.