October 13, Saturday at Site

I am staying at site until next weekend. Technically I should do this every weekend,but it is always nice to get out, have electricity for a little while, and see other PCVs. This weekend I will be cleaning, reading, cooking, and going to church. I am not really a church-goer, but it will definitely make a lot of people happy and I am curious what it will be like here.

The past couple days I have been a bit low in patience. Teaching here can be extremely frustrating at times. Being sick does not make it easier to feel good about how things are going. I am trying to teach them to think not just parrot answers back to me, but it is hard. I am anxiously awaiting my package. Hopefully I can get it by next Friday!!!

I have been reading more often, though people here don't understand anytime I stay alone for any length of time. In TZ people don't have a culture of reading or writing. There is no electricity, so it isn't like people can watch TV or go online all day. Most activities are social, largely because it is nicer to be with people than alone doing nothing. Most people clean, cook, work, and socialize. They just really don't understand why I would want to be by myself as far as I can tell. My mkuu says it will make me sad and homesick. Others see alone time as potentially scary, especially after dark. I am a pretty social person,but I do like doing things by myself. I am an only child and I know how to entertain myself. I also have things to do, like lesson plan, read, blog etc. More importantly, sometimes being around people here can feel more isolating than just being in my house. I really enjoy going to my mkuu's house, but sometimes having my students come here is just disruptive. Other times the language barrier gets in the way when I am visiting people, or it can just be really dull to watch someone cook for an hour without her involving you in it.

Anyway, my point is that I do need space. But that is fairly incomprehensible at times. I have decided I am going to push for my needed alone time anyway. I do socialize as well, but I don't need to be around people 24/7.

For now I am battling sickness and homesickness. Nonetheless, things are going alright. I am enjoying cooking and I am getting more stuff together for my library. Trying to find the happy things every day! Today that means 90's music, seeing if I have energy for yoga, and inquiring amount cement to fix my walls. Plans, plans, plans!