Today has been an interesting day socially. I actually got
total alone time until around 8:30 in the morning. No calls, no texts, no one
“hodi hodi”-ing at my gate. It was really nice to get up, brush my teeth, and
do a little reading with no interruptions.
Kibena (one of the nieces—I’m pretty sure that is how her
name is spelt) came over with some bath water around 8:30, though I used most
of it to clean out the buckets I bought in Lushoto. Later on I had some chai
and vitumbua for breakfast, as usual, and then came back to do some cleaning.
My room was left a mess after they came in to set up my temporary bed frame, so
I decided to organize everything today. I ended up designating the pink bucket I bought for
house-ware supplies (laundry soap, toilet paper rolls, dish soap etc.) and the
green bucket for hardware supplies (hammer, nails, s-clips etc.). I had
attempted to use both of those buckets to make a water filter, but the
water-filter candle actually ended up breaking once I got all the holes made in the buckets this morning. It was a very discouraging event…I feel a little like a failure
as a human being. The candle doesn’t work, and they are very expensive, so I’m
not going to bother trying again. I will boil water for three minutes and drink
that for the time being.
Anyway, my room organization in truth is mostly temporary.
The bed frame I’m currently using will have to be dismantled in two weeks when
my real bed frame is finished, meaning everything will go topsy-turvy again.
Plus, I need to get a dowel and make a hanging rack for my clothing, get a
chair for my cell-reception corner, and figure out where to hang the rice
sifters I bought to use as faux shelves. Space here is limited. And so is my
money supply. But I don’t want to set up the rice-shifter-shelves until I figure out
the best place for them to hang. And part of me is daydreaming about making my
own beanbag chair for the reception corner of my bedroom, but that sounds like
a very expensive venture. I also keep feeling the urge to paint this house, but
it’s so costly to do so, and everything would need a serious putty job. I may
do it anyway, just because I think everything would look 100x better.
The fundis showed up as I was organizing everything. They
put up ceiling boards in my kitchen, so I finally have a covered ceiling in
there! I am EXTREMELY HAPPY about that. I also had students show up and invite
themselves into my house. I haven’t figured out how to prevent them from doing
that without being really mean, or never having my door be open. I’m going to
work on it, though, because I miss my privacy.
The student teacher who had been bothering me before came back
to my house this afternoon. I sent my mkuu a message about it, because despite
my continued attempts to make my disinterest readily apparent, he continued
making me quite uncomfortable the entire time he was at my house. I told him to
not to touch me, and also explained I become
very uncomfortable whenever he licks his lips at me. I outright refused to go
to town with him or give him my number, and I told him that if he couldn’t
accept being just friends that he needs to leave me alone for good. I also kept reiterating the fact that I have a fiancé who I intend to be faithful to, but apparently
that still isn’t clear enough for TZ standards. All he did was act mildly hurt
and tell me that “he would die for me.” The whole thing is really creepy and
makes me very uncomfortable, but I’m glad that my mkuu is going to help me
handle the situation. I don’t understand
why he’s acting like that, because the other student teachers are really quite
nice and don’t have the same boundary problems. They can come say hello without
making me feel awkward, and I respect them for being nice but also
professional.
Anyway, he and the other student teachers kept insisting I get a
student or two to clean my house. I’m not sure if that’s the norm here, but I
don’t really feel right about having some poor girl come clean my house for
free. I guess I will talk to my mkuu about what is culturally best. I don’t
mind if students re-fill my water buckets since the tap is very close to my
house anyway, but I don’t really need someone to clean for me. I guess I will
have to find out the best way to mesh my culture with Tanzanian culture. I
don’t want to step on any toes, but I also don’t want to feel like people can
just trample all over me, either.
The student teachers also told me I was being too “scarce”
and not socializing enough. I ended up going to town by myself later just to
feel like I am making an effort to integrate with the village community. I live 1 1/2 kilometers from the village center, so I mostly see students when I stay at my house. I just don’t like going to town
with people when I’m full because I know I will be forced to eat something, and
I honestly have been busy setting up my house and figuring out my life. Anyway, I went to the market and bought some fruit
and vitumbua, even though I didn't need either. I gave the vitumbua away to some children who followed me home. I
also chatted with a local rapper, and invited some old ladies to come to my
house sometime. I ate the orange I bought, mostly because I'm feeling kind of dehydrated, and it was a nice fat one.
In other social news, I had a long discussion about the
difference between British and American English with one of the students here, Charlie.
He is a really bright boy, and I enjoy talking to him because he’s very polite,
but also fun to talk to. It’s nice to feel like I have a normal teacher-student
dynamic at least with someone at this school. He knows not to come into my
house, and doesn’t ask me for gifts (like most of my other students did upon my
return from Lushoto). He is interested in democracy and politics, so I might be
giving some civics lessons on the side.
I’m actually off now to tutor one of my students in English.
I told her to come back in fifteen minutes because I was writing up an e-mail. I also managed to keep all five students who came to my door outside by shutting the door behind me as I emerged. I think that will work, especially since you are supposed to ask permission before entering in TZ culture. I'm hosting the lesson outside, because I really don’t feel like
setting a precedent that kids can just come into my home whenever they want.
I
feel like I’m not getting off to a good start here sometimes. Other volunteers
don’t seem to be having some of the problems I’m having with boundaries and
pressures to go house-to-house all the time. It makes me wonder if I’m a bad volunteer or just too much of a doormat. Needless to say, I’ve started to put my foot down today,
and will continue doing so in the future!
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