So, I am currently contemplating my next big move. This is difficult because I do need to take my health into consideration, but at this point, I don't like the idea of my stomach running my life, and I can't afford too many doctor bills. I wish the process to get health coverage through FECA was simpler/more guaranteed. For now, I have a limited supply of funding (incidentally the silver-lining of being run over in 2011...basically I'm living off of my insurance settlement money) and a lot of big ideas.
In-person interviews are expensive, as are cars, which makes getting a fellowship a costly venture. I'm hoping to get a fellowship that would start in June or July, but I won't necessarily have an answer to whether or not that's going to happen for quite some time. So--do I wait around in Blue Hill? Do I go to a city? I'd really like to go out West and hit up Wyoming, but that decision may or may not be a good one. It's hard to know. I feel so excited about the idea, but also a bit worried about the practicality of it.
Anyway, I'm feeling very conflicted on a number of levels about where to go and what to do. Fun vs. Practicality. Normally I'm very logical, rational, and practical. BUT--I kind of want to go do something risky, fun, and out of my norm.
Regardless, my head is swimming.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
December 25, Merry Christmas!
Today is Christmas, so I'm happy to be home and spending it with family!
Lately the readjustment process has been... interesting. I am able to eat and drink much more now, though I still have a ways to go. Step-by-step! I'm also feeling a bit burnt out by the applications I've been working on. I think I'm going to switch strategies and take more breaks, focus on one organization and application at a time, and submit things at some of the later deadlines rather than trying to rush and finish all these applications by January. Coming back from Peace Corps, looking for work, trying to figure out what I really WANT to do, worrying about what organizations I'll be accepted by, and sorting out my health/life has been a bit overwhelming mentally. So, I'm going to try and relax a bit more. I may go out West (in the process of looking for a car) and do something fun and emotionally rewarding. I'm 23, and I'd like to explore the US a little while I'm living no-strings-attached.
Lately the readjustment process has been... interesting. I am able to eat and drink much more now, though I still have a ways to go. Step-by-step! I'm also feeling a bit burnt out by the applications I've been working on. I think I'm going to switch strategies and take more breaks, focus on one organization and application at a time, and submit things at some of the later deadlines rather than trying to rush and finish all these applications by January. Coming back from Peace Corps, looking for work, trying to figure out what I really WANT to do, worrying about what organizations I'll be accepted by, and sorting out my health/life has been a bit overwhelming mentally. So, I'm going to try and relax a bit more. I may go out West (in the process of looking for a car) and do something fun and emotionally rewarding. I'm 23, and I'd like to explore the US a little while I'm living no-strings-attached.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
December 18, On the Bus Home
So, we have finally arrived in Portland. I just watched part of the Tin-Tin movie, and did some face booking. I have a hard time reading/writing on buses, which is why I'm jotting this quick blog post down while we're at the Portland bus terminal. (Car sickness rears its ugly head if I try to be productive while going down the road.)
The bus is packed, which surprises me. It's a pretty gloomy Tuesday, but I guess that it's good that it's not snowing since it'd make traveling much slower. For now, lot's of rain. It's been like that for several days in Chicago as well.
Anyway, my interview in Chicago didn't go as well as I'd hoped. It was probably the most standardized interview/impersonal interview I've ever had. Lot's of applicants for very few spots, and they try to make it a uniform experience, so everything is scripted, timed, and very to-the-point. I'll find out by the 4th of January if I got a fellowship position, but I'm not holding my breath. I did really enjoy seeing the city, though! Chicago is awesome. I really enjoyed the Evolution, Maharaja, and Jade exhibits at the Field Museum. The Art Institute was way too big for my brain--I got overwhelmed pretty quickly by the number of exhibits. I did quite enjoy the photo exhibit, however. I love pictures. I love taking them. I love looking at them. I love learning about them. I'd like to take a course in photography sometime soon.
While in Chicago it was great to see my friend Edo. She was also in town for an interview, so we spent a couple hours together at the Skydeck (formerly Sears Tower--now Willis Tower). Great view of the city! I also saw Edo and Naomi again once I came back to Boston. We watched Pitch Perfect (A CAPPELLA DORKS!) and caught up, which was nice. :) We all used to sing together back in the day.
I'm seeing the Hobbit tonight. Then more application supplements tomorrow! I have a packet to complete for my Citizen Schools application--I'd be pumped if they gave me an offer to work in Boston, but we'll see. Financially it's the least rewarding, but the program looks AWESOME. I am not very money-driven, mostly just passionate about things that sound emotionally fulfilling. I'm not sure if that's ideal, but I'll probably find out the hard way someday if not.
Health has bobbed around this week. I'm doing better than before, but still not out of the woods. Patience is a virtue! Christmas is fast approaching, so my task of the week is to send out my Christmas cards and to bake some goodies for my friends. I LOVE baking--I really want to take holistic nutrition courses and learn to be an allergy-friendly food guru. I'm thinking Santa Brownies and Pumpkin Cupcakes with Maple Cream cheese Frosting--decorated to either be snowmen or wreaths--still deciding... If I was rich, I'd bake for people more often!
The bus is packed, which surprises me. It's a pretty gloomy Tuesday, but I guess that it's good that it's not snowing since it'd make traveling much slower. For now, lot's of rain. It's been like that for several days in Chicago as well.
Anyway, my interview in Chicago didn't go as well as I'd hoped. It was probably the most standardized interview/impersonal interview I've ever had. Lot's of applicants for very few spots, and they try to make it a uniform experience, so everything is scripted, timed, and very to-the-point. I'll find out by the 4th of January if I got a fellowship position, but I'm not holding my breath. I did really enjoy seeing the city, though! Chicago is awesome. I really enjoyed the Evolution, Maharaja, and Jade exhibits at the Field Museum. The Art Institute was way too big for my brain--I got overwhelmed pretty quickly by the number of exhibits. I did quite enjoy the photo exhibit, however. I love pictures. I love taking them. I love looking at them. I love learning about them. I'd like to take a course in photography sometime soon.
While in Chicago it was great to see my friend Edo. She was also in town for an interview, so we spent a couple hours together at the Skydeck (formerly Sears Tower--now Willis Tower). Great view of the city! I also saw Edo and Naomi again once I came back to Boston. We watched Pitch Perfect (A CAPPELLA DORKS!) and caught up, which was nice. :) We all used to sing together back in the day.
I'm seeing the Hobbit tonight. Then more application supplements tomorrow! I have a packet to complete for my Citizen Schools application--I'd be pumped if they gave me an offer to work in Boston, but we'll see. Financially it's the least rewarding, but the program looks AWESOME. I am not very money-driven, mostly just passionate about things that sound emotionally fulfilling. I'm not sure if that's ideal, but I'll probably find out the hard way someday if not.
Health has bobbed around this week. I'm doing better than before, but still not out of the woods. Patience is a virtue! Christmas is fast approaching, so my task of the week is to send out my Christmas cards and to bake some goodies for my friends. I LOVE baking--I really want to take holistic nutrition courses and learn to be an allergy-friendly food guru. I'm thinking Santa Brownies and Pumpkin Cupcakes with Maple Cream cheese Frosting--decorated to either be snowmen or wreaths--still deciding... If I was rich, I'd bake for people more often!
Thursday, December 13, 2012
December 13, Chicago is AWESOME!
Health is better in some ways, worse in others. If you're interested in more details, contact me privately, since I feel weird explaining my health in detail on a public blog.
What I feel less weird about is sharing my adventures! Yesterday I went down to Boston and met up with Sofie and Caitlin. (All the fancy American technology/nice buses/public transportation marvels are still boggling my mind a little bit. I never appreciate Conchord Trailways until I went to TZ!) Sofie & I went to get coffee/tea at this cute little place in the North End, which is where Caitlin lives. We had an interesting encounter with three middle-aged men that was funny but very weird. They came in, sat at the table next to us, and one of them promptly asked me point-blank, "What are you talking about?" They introduced themselves and made some small talk, which was a bit odd but nothing weird enough for me to remember. Anyway, one of them ended up offering me $100 to slap his friend in the face. He told me I needed to slap him as hard as possible--so hard spit would come flying out of his mouth. And he wanted to video tape me doing it so they could circulate the video to all of their office cronies. As the guy predicted, I didn't have it in me to just slap a random man in the face, though $100 was hard to pass up. I just really didn't' need an assault charge being levied on me. Plus, I doubt I could really hit someone that hard in the face for no good reason. My morals just don't jibe that way.
Anyway, today I flew into Chicago. I really like it here--I definitely would gladly relocate to the windy city based on what I've seen so far! It's exciting!
Interesting observations & nice things from my day:
1. I saw the most adorable father in the airport. He was like the poster-child of fathers. (Oxymoron? Poster-father?) Anyway, watching him play this crocodile game with his toddler kind of made my morning. Normally I'm annoyed by the poor parenting I see in public transportation situations, so I was pleasantly surprised that he wasn't letting his child run screaming and flailing around the terminal. Also, unlike another family there, he didn't let the little guy tote my winter boots around as I was getting my jacket off for the security check. Apparently this kid really "liked them".
2. The buildings in Chicago are tall, pretty, and super shiny. I feel pumped up just from being here! I love city life, it's just so invigorating. And this city seems very handsome, at least in the downtown area.
3. I really like the old-school feel here--there's a nice vibe in Chicago. Old meets new. Classic and cultured meets modernity. I like the feeling I get here, and I'm excited to tourist around tomorrow.
4. I had some delicious spicy sweet potatoes from Whole Foods. I'm definitely making those once I get home!
5. Most people in Chicago that I've walked past have been very fit. I'm not sure if that's true city-wide, but I was impressed by how many people were in shape as I wandered around this afternoon.
6. Okay, back to Whole Foods. There is an amazing selection of new, yummy, allergy-friendly foods that I could normally have, but can't at the present time. Once I'm off my restrictive diet, I'm excited to try these new items! I LOVE YOU ALLERGY FRIENDLY GRANOLA BARS!
7. I got an interview with the DC Fellows program, too! So far I've gotten final interviews for every position I've applied for! (Saturday is my attempt at nailing down an offer!) The position in DC is for ESL, which is perfect. :) I hope I get one position at least!
8. I had 3 cups of peppermint tea today. It was great.
9. I came up with some really inspired thoughts for the children's book I want to write--these ideas are semi-related to my Plan B: Allergy-Friendly Bakery & Nutritional Consultant Studio idea, incidentally...
10. The O'Hare airport features toilets that have automatic re-changing seat covers. You just wave at the toilet, and it spins on some new plastic for your tush. Wonders never cease.
What I feel less weird about is sharing my adventures! Yesterday I went down to Boston and met up with Sofie and Caitlin. (All the fancy American technology/nice buses/public transportation marvels are still boggling my mind a little bit. I never appreciate Conchord Trailways until I went to TZ!) Sofie & I went to get coffee/tea at this cute little place in the North End, which is where Caitlin lives. We had an interesting encounter with three middle-aged men that was funny but very weird. They came in, sat at the table next to us, and one of them promptly asked me point-blank, "What are you talking about?" They introduced themselves and made some small talk, which was a bit odd but nothing weird enough for me to remember. Anyway, one of them ended up offering me $100 to slap his friend in the face. He told me I needed to slap him as hard as possible--so hard spit would come flying out of his mouth. And he wanted to video tape me doing it so they could circulate the video to all of their office cronies. As the guy predicted, I didn't have it in me to just slap a random man in the face, though $100 was hard to pass up. I just really didn't' need an assault charge being levied on me. Plus, I doubt I could really hit someone that hard in the face for no good reason. My morals just don't jibe that way.
Anyway, today I flew into Chicago. I really like it here--I definitely would gladly relocate to the windy city based on what I've seen so far! It's exciting!
Interesting observations & nice things from my day:
1. I saw the most adorable father in the airport. He was like the poster-child of fathers. (Oxymoron? Poster-father?) Anyway, watching him play this crocodile game with his toddler kind of made my morning. Normally I'm annoyed by the poor parenting I see in public transportation situations, so I was pleasantly surprised that he wasn't letting his child run screaming and flailing around the terminal. Also, unlike another family there, he didn't let the little guy tote my winter boots around as I was getting my jacket off for the security check. Apparently this kid really "liked them".
2. The buildings in Chicago are tall, pretty, and super shiny. I feel pumped up just from being here! I love city life, it's just so invigorating. And this city seems very handsome, at least in the downtown area.
3. I really like the old-school feel here--there's a nice vibe in Chicago. Old meets new. Classic and cultured meets modernity. I like the feeling I get here, and I'm excited to tourist around tomorrow.
4. I had some delicious spicy sweet potatoes from Whole Foods. I'm definitely making those once I get home!
5. Most people in Chicago that I've walked past have been very fit. I'm not sure if that's true city-wide, but I was impressed by how many people were in shape as I wandered around this afternoon.
6. Okay, back to Whole Foods. There is an amazing selection of new, yummy, allergy-friendly foods that I could normally have, but can't at the present time. Once I'm off my restrictive diet, I'm excited to try these new items! I LOVE YOU ALLERGY FRIENDLY GRANOLA BARS!
7. I got an interview with the DC Fellows program, too! So far I've gotten final interviews for every position I've applied for! (Saturday is my attempt at nailing down an offer!) The position in DC is for ESL, which is perfect. :) I hope I get one position at least!
8. I had 3 cups of peppermint tea today. It was great.
9. I came up with some really inspired thoughts for the children's book I want to write--these ideas are semi-related to my Plan B: Allergy-Friendly Bakery & Nutritional Consultant Studio idea, incidentally...
10. The O'Hare airport features toilets that have automatic re-changing seat covers. You just wave at the toilet, and it spins on some new plastic for your tush. Wonders never cease.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
December 6, Interview Excitement
So far I've gotten an interview invite from every position I've applied to. I am really excited by that, and hoping it's a good sign, but I'm also pretty anxious about landing a position. It'd be easier to relax if I didn't feel really dedicated to getting the fellowships I've applied to, but I'm genuinely going to be pretty sad if I don't get a position with any of them. Two of the interviews are via phone; if I do well I should be invited to an in-person interview for those as well. The one for NYC Teaching Fellows is in-person, however, so that will require travel sometime soon--probably around New Years or sometime in January if I wait to fly down. I'm excited to hit up the big apple!
I'm going to help children make Christmas lanterns today, which should be fun. I'm excited to feel productive--I hate being unemployed, though I really should just be enjoying the relaxation time.
I'm going down to Boston on the 12th, flying to Chicago on the 13th, and coming back to Maine on the 18th. I'm excited to see the city as it will be my first time in the great state of Illinois :)
I'm going to help children make Christmas lanterns today, which should be fun. I'm excited to feel productive--I hate being unemployed, though I really should just be enjoying the relaxation time.
I'm going down to Boston on the 12th, flying to Chicago on the 13th, and coming back to Maine on the 18th. I'm excited to see the city as it will be my first time in the great state of Illinois :)
Monday, December 3, 2012
December 3, INTERVIEWS!
Yahoo! I got an interview for both of my top-choice cities at TNTP! I really hope I manage to get hired by one of the two: DC or Chicago. And if not, I hope I'm contacted by other cities for an interview. I'm nervous! I really, really want to get a teaching fellowship...I'm incredibly excited about the idea of working in high-need schools here in America, but I'm worried I won't get the chance. We'll see I guess! I'm flying out to Chicago on the 13th and going to have an interview there. I'm not sure if I'll land the job, but I'm excited to see the city either way :)
Today I went to the chiropractor's office to get another Nutri-Spect examination. They switched my supplements all around and I'm going in for more adjustments soon. I also got news back from the hospital--apparently I have a non-pathogenic parasite living in my body, but it's not causing any problems by being there. Interesting...and semi-useless information, but I'll get more blood work done tomorrow to scope out if anything else is hiding in my body! I'm staying positive and hoping things will all end up working out very shortly!
Today I went to the chiropractor's office to get another Nutri-Spect examination. They switched my supplements all around and I'm going in for more adjustments soon. I also got news back from the hospital--apparently I have a non-pathogenic parasite living in my body, but it's not causing any problems by being there. Interesting...and semi-useless information, but I'll get more blood work done tomorrow to scope out if anything else is hiding in my body! I'm staying positive and hoping things will all end up working out very shortly!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
December 2, Applications & Kale Chips
The past several days have been good socially. I've seen some good friends, had some good herbal tea out at the restaurants/bars in Blue Hill, and watched a couple movies. I also stopped in to see my work crewbies from New Beginnings--it's always nice to chat, though it did make me a bit nostalgic for doing pre-school craft projects. The readjustment process has been pretty hard, but I'm working through things.
I have been primarily working on Fellowship applications, a process that I find stressful mostly because I REALLY want to land an opportunity like the ones provided through TNTP and AmeriCorps. Several applications are due* tomorrow, so I've been dedicating my time to finishing them. I'm also planning on submitting a TFA application, and I've been working on my Center for Inspired Teaching essay questions, but I think I'll take a break from applications this coming week since the deadlines aren't until January. I also need to prepare for my TNTP phone interview--really hoping it goes well, but we'll see!
Last night I made dinner with Peter, and then we cooked up some kale chips as snacks. They were DELICIOUS! I'm not allowed to have popcorn, so it was the perfect alternative treat. Salty, crunchy, and just plain yummy! Nonetheless, so far I'm a little disappointed with the cookbooks I bought--I think I will write my own one day and improve the options out there in allergy-friendly eating!
*early application deadline
I have been primarily working on Fellowship applications, a process that I find stressful mostly because I REALLY want to land an opportunity like the ones provided through TNTP and AmeriCorps. Several applications are due* tomorrow, so I've been dedicating my time to finishing them. I'm also planning on submitting a TFA application, and I've been working on my Center for Inspired Teaching essay questions, but I think I'll take a break from applications this coming week since the deadlines aren't until January. I also need to prepare for my TNTP phone interview--really hoping it goes well, but we'll see!
Last night I made dinner with Peter, and then we cooked up some kale chips as snacks. They were DELICIOUS! I'm not allowed to have popcorn, so it was the perfect alternative treat. Salty, crunchy, and just plain yummy! Nonetheless, so far I'm a little disappointed with the cookbooks I bought--I think I will write my own one day and improve the options out there in allergy-friendly eating!
*early application deadline
Thursday, November 29, 2012
November 29, Blood Work is A-Okay
Yesterday I submitted my TNTP Fellowship application! It felt really good to complete it and send it off--I really hope I land a position! It's a very exciting opportunity. Plus, I REALLY want to help underprivileged kids back here in America. I'm feeling passionate, which I hope comes through my short-answer responses.
Last night I went out to Ipanemas with a crew of my friends. It's known as the "Jingo" club, based on some sort of made-up acronym that a bunch of my friends came up with one night. I got to see some friends I haven't been able to run into yet, so even though it wiped me out, it was really nice to see people! I did go a little crazy when we stopped at BAM! to go shopping. I love bookstores, and I found some exciting things, particularly in the cooking section. I have big aspirations to make my new way of eating more exciting!
This morning Baroody called and told me that my blood-work came back normal. The rest of the results will be in sometime next week. He also said he sent my information to the Portland Gastroenterology Department, so hopefully I can get an appointment soon!
Last night I went out to Ipanemas with a crew of my friends. It's known as the "Jingo" club, based on some sort of made-up acronym that a bunch of my friends came up with one night. I got to see some friends I haven't been able to run into yet, so even though it wiped me out, it was really nice to see people! I did go a little crazy when we stopped at BAM! to go shopping. I love bookstores, and I found some exciting things, particularly in the cooking section. I have big aspirations to make my new way of eating more exciting!
This morning Baroody called and told me that my blood-work came back normal. The rest of the results will be in sometime next week. He also said he sent my information to the Portland Gastroenterology Department, so hopefully I can get an appointment soon!
Monday, November 26, 2012
November 26, I Love Veggie Stir-Fry
Yesterday I went on a walk with Peter and my doggie, Baci, down in Deer Isle. It was cold but beautiful!
Today I went to the doctor's office and saw my family doctor, Dr. Baroody. He asked me for a run-down of what's been happening, prodded my stomach, and ordered some tests to be run. Getting my blood drawn was a ridiculous 15-minute ordeal, involving multiple pricks and two phlebotomists. Baroody said that he'd refer me to a gastroenterologist, though he warned that it will probably take months to see anyone. For now, hopefully they can help me at Dr. Aker's office and Blue Hill Memorial Hospital. I want to be healthy!
I also continued working on applications today and had some delicious stir-fry for dinner. It may not have been a large amount, but it was totally delicious!
Today I went to the doctor's office and saw my family doctor, Dr. Baroody. He asked me for a run-down of what's been happening, prodded my stomach, and ordered some tests to be run. Getting my blood drawn was a ridiculous 15-minute ordeal, involving multiple pricks and two phlebotomists. Baroody said that he'd refer me to a gastroenterologist, though he warned that it will probably take months to see anyone. For now, hopefully they can help me at Dr. Aker's office and Blue Hill Memorial Hospital. I want to be healthy!
I also continued working on applications today and had some delicious stir-fry for dinner. It may not have been a large amount, but it was totally delicious!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
November 24, Small Business Saturday
For the first time since I got home, I actually slept for a reasonable, solid amount of time. Eight hours of glorious snooze-time. It was great.
I've been working on a couple applications. I've found two fellowships that I'm SUPER excited about! I really want to continue teaching here in America and actually make a difference at home. My current career path is (loosely) as follows:
(1) Teach while I'm in my 20's. I love working with children, plus I want to get a good sense of the American education system and really make a difference in lives of students in urban districts.
(2) In my mid to late 20's, receive my masters degree in Education Policy, and potentially also Law if it feels like the right decision for me.
(3) Work with the government or with non-profits to promote education reform/better education practices in schools.
Obviously life has many detours, so I'm also open to working for other types of non-profits, and part of me would just love to open up an alternative-foods bakery for people with allergies like me. But...we will see! I'm 23, driven, and once I'm healthy I shall be unstoppable :) That's the dream anyway.
Yesterday I had a small gathering at my house to celebrate my birthday/being home. It was really nice to see people, especially since some old friends stopped by. It was kind of a surprisingly small turn-out, though. Given that I can't really party these days, I didn't mind how low-key it was.
Today I'm going to Bangor to check-out Small Business Saturday. I'm hoping to get some good deals and maybe find a couple cute, warm sweaters. Hopefully my body holds up! The past couple days haven't been ideal, but I'm hoping the full night of sleep I got will do the trick for me today! :)
I've been working on a couple applications. I've found two fellowships that I'm SUPER excited about! I really want to continue teaching here in America and actually make a difference at home. My current career path is (loosely) as follows:
(1) Teach while I'm in my 20's. I love working with children, plus I want to get a good sense of the American education system and really make a difference in lives of students in urban districts.
(2) In my mid to late 20's, receive my masters degree in Education Policy, and potentially also Law if it feels like the right decision for me.
(3) Work with the government or with non-profits to promote education reform/better education practices in schools.
Obviously life has many detours, so I'm also open to working for other types of non-profits, and part of me would just love to open up an alternative-foods bakery for people with allergies like me. But...we will see! I'm 23, driven, and once I'm healthy I shall be unstoppable :) That's the dream anyway.
Yesterday I had a small gathering at my house to celebrate my birthday/being home. It was really nice to see people, especially since some old friends stopped by. It was kind of a surprisingly small turn-out, though. Given that I can't really party these days, I didn't mind how low-key it was.
Today I'm going to Bangor to check-out Small Business Saturday. I'm hoping to get some good deals and maybe find a couple cute, warm sweaters. Hopefully my body holds up! The past couple days haven't been ideal, but I'm hoping the full night of sleep I got will do the trick for me today! :)
Thursday, November 22, 2012
November 22, I'm Now 23 Years-Old
So, yesterday was my 23rd birthday. (I'm going to miss being 22, but I'm still pretty young.) It was probably one of the most low-key birthdays I've ever had. My mom hurt her back, so we cancelled our family luncheon. I was feeling particularly sick to my stomach, so I also wasn't overly high-energy. Last night I did go out with some friends to Bangor, a city that's pretty close to my hometown. I drank some herbal tea and water, they drank beers and got some food. It wasn't a very crazy outing, but it certainly was good to see people! (And it was right on my energy-level.)
Anyway, on Monday I took what is called a "Nutri-Spec" exam. I got the results yesterday, which showed that I have two imbalances: Anaerobic and Ketogenic. An anaerobic imbalance means that my body doesn't efficiently use oxygen to produce energy. It also means that there's an inefficient movement of nutrients into, and waste products out of, my cells. This causes things like fatigue, allergic sensitivities, dizziness etc. A ketogenic imbalance means that I have poor glycemic control, leading to difficulty handling sugary and fatty foods.
I received a large number of different supplements to take, in addition to a diet plan to follow. I've pretty much already been on the diet they prescribed for the past 8 weeks, but the supplements are new. I'm hoping the supplements make a difference, but I'm also happy to be seeing a gastroenterologist soon*. On Monday I'll also be seeing my family doctor at the hospital here in Blue Hill, and I'm really hoping that he'll refer me to a good gastroenterologist who can figure out if I have any sort of underlying condition that hasn't been previously identified.
Anyway, as you all probably know, today is Thanksgiving! I'm a little sad I can't enjoy things like cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie, but I am excited about the vegetables and turkey. I had some mashed pumpkin for breakfast. Plus, it's just nice to spend time with my family in my beautiful home!
10 Things I'm Thankful For:
1. My family: My mother is one of my best friends, and is always there to support me. She is one of the most creative, hard-working people I know. My father has also always been there for me and loves me through thick and thin. He is intelligent, resilient, and giving. I am very grateful for their support, love, and their belief in my ability to do great things one day.
2. My dog: He is too cute. And loving. And smart.
3. My friends: Near or far, I have some great friends. They make me laugh, and they are there for me when I need to cry. We have some great adventures together, and I'm thankful for the crazy, boring, and fun times we share.
4. My education: I had mixed feelings about Smith, but I am SO thankful for the education that I received there. I'm also happy to still have good relationships with my professors, who were always amazing and inspiring educators.
5. Communication: Call it good or bad, but I love being able to reach people via phone, Facebook, e-mail, snail mail, personal visit etc. I am thankful for the ability to communicate across borders, oceans, and time-zones. I admit it, technology rocks my socks. I didn't mind being without electricity or running water, but having a cell-phone in Tanzania really did make a difference on those days I just really needed to talk to somebody.
6. Soft things: I love comfortable sweaters, fleecy blankets, cushy socks, and warm PJs. I am thankful to be wrapped in a pretty fleece blanket right now, and I will always love the feeling that soft things provide.
7. The health that I do have: I may not be well, but I'm also not laying in a hospital bed. I'm happy to have medical support and to be able to eat and drink at least some of the items on our Thanksgiving docket. More importantly, I'm glad that I can walk, talk, and use my right arm for pretty much whatever I need to do! (I got run-over in August 2011, but my arm has made a pretty strong recovery!)
8. My Italian host family: My Italian host family, the Verdes, will always be my second family. I am thankful to feel like I will always have a place to go in Livorno and in Milan. I miss and love them.
9. Music: Through good times and bad, music ALWAYS makes everything better. I am thankful for the joy that songs bring me, whether I'm listening to them, singing them, or playing them on my guitar.
10. Possibilities: Life is a strange journey, and there are plenty of problems in the world, but there are also a lot of opportunities. I am thankful for the freedom and rights I enjoy as an American, and for the myriad possibilities out there I have yet to discover.
Anyway, on Monday I took what is called a "Nutri-Spec" exam. I got the results yesterday, which showed that I have two imbalances: Anaerobic and Ketogenic. An anaerobic imbalance means that my body doesn't efficiently use oxygen to produce energy. It also means that there's an inefficient movement of nutrients into, and waste products out of, my cells. This causes things like fatigue, allergic sensitivities, dizziness etc. A ketogenic imbalance means that I have poor glycemic control, leading to difficulty handling sugary and fatty foods.
I received a large number of different supplements to take, in addition to a diet plan to follow. I've pretty much already been on the diet they prescribed for the past 8 weeks, but the supplements are new. I'm hoping the supplements make a difference, but I'm also happy to be seeing a gastroenterologist soon*. On Monday I'll also be seeing my family doctor at the hospital here in Blue Hill, and I'm really hoping that he'll refer me to a good gastroenterologist who can figure out if I have any sort of underlying condition that hasn't been previously identified.
Anyway, as you all probably know, today is Thanksgiving! I'm a little sad I can't enjoy things like cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie, but I am excited about the vegetables and turkey. I had some mashed pumpkin for breakfast. Plus, it's just nice to spend time with my family in my beautiful home!
10 Things I'm Thankful For:
1. My family: My mother is one of my best friends, and is always there to support me. She is one of the most creative, hard-working people I know. My father has also always been there for me and loves me through thick and thin. He is intelligent, resilient, and giving. I am very grateful for their support, love, and their belief in my ability to do great things one day.
2. My dog: He is too cute. And loving. And smart.
3. My friends: Near or far, I have some great friends. They make me laugh, and they are there for me when I need to cry. We have some great adventures together, and I'm thankful for the crazy, boring, and fun times we share.
4. My education: I had mixed feelings about Smith, but I am SO thankful for the education that I received there. I'm also happy to still have good relationships with my professors, who were always amazing and inspiring educators.
5. Communication: Call it good or bad, but I love being able to reach people via phone, Facebook, e-mail, snail mail, personal visit etc. I am thankful for the ability to communicate across borders, oceans, and time-zones. I admit it, technology rocks my socks. I didn't mind being without electricity or running water, but having a cell-phone in Tanzania really did make a difference on those days I just really needed to talk to somebody.
6. Soft things: I love comfortable sweaters, fleecy blankets, cushy socks, and warm PJs. I am thankful to be wrapped in a pretty fleece blanket right now, and I will always love the feeling that soft things provide.
7. The health that I do have: I may not be well, but I'm also not laying in a hospital bed. I'm happy to have medical support and to be able to eat and drink at least some of the items on our Thanksgiving docket. More importantly, I'm glad that I can walk, talk, and use my right arm for pretty much whatever I need to do! (I got run-over in August 2011, but my arm has made a pretty strong recovery!)
8. My Italian host family: My Italian host family, the Verdes, will always be my second family. I am thankful to feel like I will always have a place to go in Livorno and in Milan. I miss and love them.
9. Music: Through good times and bad, music ALWAYS makes everything better. I am thankful for the joy that songs bring me, whether I'm listening to them, singing them, or playing them on my guitar.
10. Possibilities: Life is a strange journey, and there are plenty of problems in the world, but there are also a lot of opportunities. I am thankful for the freedom and rights I enjoy as an American, and for the myriad possibilities out there I have yet to discover.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
November 20, Resume Headache
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I caught up with a couple more friends and went on a short walk in the woods. I'm trying to push myself to get a little physical activity, even though I really haven't noticed much of a change in my health status. I miss running, dancing, and hiking!
I am in the process of finding job/fellowship opportunities. I'm hoping to start working again in the end of January. Today I started an application for a pretty exciting teaching fellowship program that would enable me to work in a needy school here in America. It's just difficult to really get everything together right now, but deadlines are approaching for things that won't start until June! I'm hoping that I can write some really good essay responses to the application questions and streamline my resume within the next couple of weeks. I'm also hoping that employers will be understanding about my medical separation from the Peace Corps. I truly fought to stay at my site and in the PC, and I will eventually be plenty capable of working full-time, but it's a bit strange to be working on applications when I'm not really ready to re-join the workforce yet.
Tonight I am going over to have dinner at Kate's house. I think we're going to have some stir-fried vegetables. Being home and out of the hot weather has been helping me stay more hydrated and has increased my appetite a bit, though other symptoms are still persisting or worsening. I am still waiting to hear back from Dr. Aker's office about the tests I had run yesterday. I did urinalysis, blood pressure tests (sitting vs. standing), a spit ph, etc. I also submitted a symptoms list and had my pupils examined. I hope they find a way of fixing me quickly! I want to have a miraculous Christmas recovery :)
I am in the process of finding job/fellowship opportunities. I'm hoping to start working again in the end of January. Today I started an application for a pretty exciting teaching fellowship program that would enable me to work in a needy school here in America. It's just difficult to really get everything together right now, but deadlines are approaching for things that won't start until June! I'm hoping that I can write some really good essay responses to the application questions and streamline my resume within the next couple of weeks. I'm also hoping that employers will be understanding about my medical separation from the Peace Corps. I truly fought to stay at my site and in the PC, and I will eventually be plenty capable of working full-time, but it's a bit strange to be working on applications when I'm not really ready to re-join the workforce yet.
Tonight I am going over to have dinner at Kate's house. I think we're going to have some stir-fried vegetables. Being home and out of the hot weather has been helping me stay more hydrated and has increased my appetite a bit, though other symptoms are still persisting or worsening. I am still waiting to hear back from Dr. Aker's office about the tests I had run yesterday. I did urinalysis, blood pressure tests (sitting vs. standing), a spit ph, etc. I also submitted a symptoms list and had my pupils examined. I hope they find a way of fixing me quickly! I want to have a miraculous Christmas recovery :)
Sunday, November 18, 2012
November 18, Cold & Colds
Today has been a semi-productive day so far. My mom helped me go through my old clothes to sort what items are being (1) given away, (2) put in storage, or (3) kept in my room. I haven't had a ton of energy today (once again I failed to sleep for very long), but I do need to finish putting away the big pile of clothing now laying on my bed.
Unfortunately, I think that I'm coming down with a cold--I'm feeling particularly ill today, but in a different way than usual. I'm guessing that going on a plane with a low white blood cell count made me pretty susceptible to catching whatever colds are circulating these days, so it's not overly surprising to me.
I still haven't gotten used to the cold weather here. It's so crazy how much of a bite there is in the air! I got pretty adjusted to the heat and humidity in Dar. I am getting more adjusted to other things, although things like American currency and tea kettles are still 'noticeable' to me. It's hard to explain--I haven't been gone long enough for things to seem overly strange, but I do seem to notice certain things that I think I'd normally take for granted. I actually pay attention to quarters when I see them, using a washing machine is still extremely exciting, and it's also really neat that I don't have to do very much to get a glass of clean drinking water.
Also, Words With Friends? I forgot how much I love that silly game.
Unfortunately, I think that I'm coming down with a cold--I'm feeling particularly ill today, but in a different way than usual. I'm guessing that going on a plane with a low white blood cell count made me pretty susceptible to catching whatever colds are circulating these days, so it's not overly surprising to me.
I still haven't gotten used to the cold weather here. It's so crazy how much of a bite there is in the air! I got pretty adjusted to the heat and humidity in Dar. I am getting more adjusted to other things, although things like American currency and tea kettles are still 'noticeable' to me. It's hard to explain--I haven't been gone long enough for things to seem overly strange, but I do seem to notice certain things that I think I'd normally take for granted. I actually pay attention to quarters when I see them, using a washing machine is still extremely exciting, and it's also really neat that I don't have to do very much to get a glass of clean drinking water.
Also, Words With Friends? I forgot how much I love that silly game.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
November 17, Shopping
So, I am posting via my new phone. Super snazzy! Getting the phone today was a big headache, however. My prepaid phone dreams were foiled after a lot of wasted browsing time, so I wound up back in a contract with AT&T. I do love my new iPhone, though, so I guess it's worth it. (I'm still frustrated that you can't just buy a prepaid phone and switch it to any carrier you want, whenever you want. Plus, I must say that the prepaid options out there are pretty crappy for the prices charged.) Disappointing times at Best Buy, but ultimately I do love this new phone so it works out.
Yesterday I saw Dr. Aker, who specializes in chiropractic and homeopathic medicine. He told me to stop eating fruit and to focus on vegetables, eggs, fresh fish, and some (free range) chicken from time to time. No sugar, nuts, shellfish, simple carbs etc. He also plans on running a nutrispect exam on me on Monday, and gave my neck some adjustments that might help my parasympathetic nervous system cooperate better. I will see my regular doctor on the twenty-sixth of this month, and then hopefully follow up with a gastroenterologist. Thanksgiving is making scheduling difficult. Anyway, I do hope things start improving soon. It will probably take at least two months to feel a real change...or so Dr. Aker said. For now I am just bearing with my body being seriously upset at me and focusing on the good things in my life. Good family, good friends, my dog, and all the joys of America!
Anyway, speaking of good things, I got to spend time with two of my favorite people in the world last night. Joan and Eric are basically my godparents--and they came over for dinner last night. It was really nice to catch up with them and share stories from TZ. I wish I had two years worth, but I do have plenty of new knowledge to share just from five and a half months abroad!
I visited the Young family this morning and gave the kids their gifts. It was fun to see them--the twins have gotten so big! (My mom works for the Youngs and they have three small, adorable kids...two twin boys and a daughter who is about to turn four.). I was shown a puzzle piece of Africa upon giving Emily her new stuffed elephant. She really is a smart cookie. Anyway, it made me realize that I truly do miss working with kids--they are fun.
I bought new clothes today. I actually got some size 0 and size 3 pants, which is crazy to me since I have a notoriously large rear-end. It was fun to get new jeans and some nice sweaters. Adjusting to the cold is hard! I need layers! I also just really liked spending the day with my mom. I have missed her a lot, so it was nice to have a girl's day out.
Lastly, I also got to see my friend Jesse Whitney today. We now have good vegetable-based meal plans and some tacky Christmas celebration ideas in the works. I can't wait to see everyone in my friend circles--it is a good time of the year to be home.
Yesterday I saw Dr. Aker, who specializes in chiropractic and homeopathic medicine. He told me to stop eating fruit and to focus on vegetables, eggs, fresh fish, and some (free range) chicken from time to time. No sugar, nuts, shellfish, simple carbs etc. He also plans on running a nutrispect exam on me on Monday, and gave my neck some adjustments that might help my parasympathetic nervous system cooperate better. I will see my regular doctor on the twenty-sixth of this month, and then hopefully follow up with a gastroenterologist. Thanksgiving is making scheduling difficult. Anyway, I do hope things start improving soon. It will probably take at least two months to feel a real change...or so Dr. Aker said. For now I am just bearing with my body being seriously upset at me and focusing on the good things in my life. Good family, good friends, my dog, and all the joys of America!
Anyway, speaking of good things, I got to spend time with two of my favorite people in the world last night. Joan and Eric are basically my godparents--and they came over for dinner last night. It was really nice to catch up with them and share stories from TZ. I wish I had two years worth, but I do have plenty of new knowledge to share just from five and a half months abroad!
I visited the Young family this morning and gave the kids their gifts. It was fun to see them--the twins have gotten so big! (My mom works for the Youngs and they have three small, adorable kids...two twin boys and a daughter who is about to turn four.). I was shown a puzzle piece of Africa upon giving Emily her new stuffed elephant. She really is a smart cookie. Anyway, it made me realize that I truly do miss working with kids--they are fun.
I bought new clothes today. I actually got some size 0 and size 3 pants, which is crazy to me since I have a notoriously large rear-end. It was fun to get new jeans and some nice sweaters. Adjusting to the cold is hard! I need layers! I also just really liked spending the day with my mom. I have missed her a lot, so it was nice to have a girl's day out.
Lastly, I also got to see my friend Jesse Whitney today. We now have good vegetable-based meal plans and some tacky Christmas celebration ideas in the works. I can't wait to see everyone in my friend circles--it is a good time of the year to be home.
Friday, November 16, 2012
November 16, It's 3:30 a.m.
Yesterday ended up being a fairly productive day. My grandmother stopped by for her typical two-second visit, but it was nice to get a couple big bear-hugs in. She's glad to have me home, and I could feel that, so seeing her was nice, albeit brief. I also got to see my friend Sarah (who visited me in Lushoto after COSing from Zambia.) Having someone else who has done Peace Corps and who has lived in rural Africa is really helpful with regards to settling back into American life. We obviously had different experiences--she was in Zambia, I was in TZ; she taught health, I taught English; she completed her 2 years, I got medically separated....
Nonetheless, we do have a bond and an empathetic understanding not only of each other's time in Africa, but more importantly, of how difficult/nice it is to be back in Blue Hill. Needless to say, I am just really happy to have a friend who can really get what I'm going through and who can actually commiserate with me about everything involved with PC bureaucracy. Plus, Sarah is just a lot of fun to have around in general!
My mom got off work around 1:30 pm and we headed over to the DMV to renew my license. One of the workers asked my mom if I "passed" as I was filling out my paperwork. Apparently she thought I was sixteen--must be my oversized jeans giving me that rebellious teenager vibe. I really need some new pants.
Speaking of new clothes, I bought a fleece from an outdoorsy store (Cadillac Mountain Sports) we popped into. Black, cozy, and fitted. Perfect. I also experienced the undeniably magical place that is an American grocery store. The gluten-free aisle has expanded in the past six months in my local supermarket--very exciting and tempting! I just can't wait until I can chow down on an Oatmeal-Walnut-Raisin Cliff Bar or some granola with strawberry coconut-milk yogurt. So many things I want to eat....but can't....
In any case, the stress of having to switch life paths really sunk in yesterday. I planned on being gone for 27 months and only left for 5 1/2, and it's hard to know what I really want to do now, and what options are out there. I'm also adjusting to little things like the weather, dishwashers, remembering that people don't understand words like "safi" and "pole" etc. But I personally find that switching lifestyle gears is easier than switching life-path gears. I need to figure out what my "Plan B" is--what direction I'm going in and where that path starts. But before I do that, I really need to get my health back in order. So...it's just a hard place to be. I'm still kind of here nor there, but I am feeling encouraged by my prospects and by the support I've been getting from people. I know that I will find something great to do, and I'm really hoping the doctors here will be able to help me through a fairly swift recovery. I'm not expecting a miracle, but if I could eat my mom's special Jade-friendly Lobster Eggs Benedict (gluten, dairy-free recipe from heaven!) on Christmas morning, that would truly be amazing. We will see--just having a pile of fruit salad (rather than 1/2 cup of it) that morning would be a glorious step in the right direction.
In any case, I know that I will figure out a new life path that will be fulfilling, but honestly I do need to wait to start regaining my health before I'll really be able to tackle anything like that. For now, I feel like I've come home at the perfect time. It's becoming winter and the air feels crisp, and although the cold takes my breath away, it's fun to break out boots, jackets, and hats. I really love the transition from fall to winter. Plus, my birthday is next week and so is Thanksgiving, and I'm so, so, so excited to be home for Christmas! I LOVE the Christmas season, commercial or not. It's just really nice to be home for the holidays...I feel complete in that way. :)
Anyway, here are some silly things that seem a bit odd to me (culturally) right now:
Nonetheless, we do have a bond and an empathetic understanding not only of each other's time in Africa, but more importantly, of how difficult/nice it is to be back in Blue Hill. Needless to say, I am just really happy to have a friend who can really get what I'm going through and who can actually commiserate with me about everything involved with PC bureaucracy. Plus, Sarah is just a lot of fun to have around in general!
My mom got off work around 1:30 pm and we headed over to the DMV to renew my license. One of the workers asked my mom if I "passed" as I was filling out my paperwork. Apparently she thought I was sixteen--must be my oversized jeans giving me that rebellious teenager vibe. I really need some new pants.
Speaking of new clothes, I bought a fleece from an outdoorsy store (Cadillac Mountain Sports) we popped into. Black, cozy, and fitted. Perfect. I also experienced the undeniably magical place that is an American grocery store. The gluten-free aisle has expanded in the past six months in my local supermarket--very exciting and tempting! I just can't wait until I can chow down on an Oatmeal-Walnut-Raisin Cliff Bar or some granola with strawberry coconut-milk yogurt. So many things I want to eat....but can't....
In any case, the stress of having to switch life paths really sunk in yesterday. I planned on being gone for 27 months and only left for 5 1/2, and it's hard to know what I really want to do now, and what options are out there. I'm also adjusting to little things like the weather, dishwashers, remembering that people don't understand words like "safi" and "pole" etc. But I personally find that switching lifestyle gears is easier than switching life-path gears. I need to figure out what my "Plan B" is--what direction I'm going in and where that path starts. But before I do that, I really need to get my health back in order. So...it's just a hard place to be. I'm still kind of here nor there, but I am feeling encouraged by my prospects and by the support I've been getting from people. I know that I will find something great to do, and I'm really hoping the doctors here will be able to help me through a fairly swift recovery. I'm not expecting a miracle, but if I could eat my mom's special Jade-friendly Lobster Eggs Benedict (gluten, dairy-free recipe from heaven!) on Christmas morning, that would truly be amazing. We will see--just having a pile of fruit salad (rather than 1/2 cup of it) that morning would be a glorious step in the right direction.
In any case, I know that I will figure out a new life path that will be fulfilling, but honestly I do need to wait to start regaining my health before I'll really be able to tackle anything like that. For now, I feel like I've come home at the perfect time. It's becoming winter and the air feels crisp, and although the cold takes my breath away, it's fun to break out boots, jackets, and hats. I really love the transition from fall to winter. Plus, my birthday is next week and so is Thanksgiving, and I'm so, so, so excited to be home for Christmas! I LOVE the Christmas season, commercial or not. It's just really nice to be home for the holidays...I feel complete in that way. :)
Anyway, here are some silly things that seem a bit odd to me (culturally) right now:
- Cars go on the correct side of the road.
- Electricity doesn't zap you, nor is using my computer while it's charging considered "risky".
- There are things like refrigerators, washing machines, televisions etc. EVERYWHERE.
- You don't have to wait for the water to heat up to take a shower...and the hot water lasts more than two minutes. (Oh sweet water-pressure form the heavens!) Although, I still feel guilty using up too much water at once. I feel like I need to turn the water on and off between scrubbing my hair and rinsing my shampoo out--or at least rinse at great speeds.
- Fixed, high food prices....everywhere.
- Generally I blend in physically, though now I stick out as someone that some people are surprised to be seeing back here.
- There is plenty of water for thoroughly washing vegetables etc. Once again--I'm running on a water-conservation mindset that is hard to break.
- I don't have to necessarily cook in a way that conserves gas. The stove-top isn't going to run out of gas quickly and leave me fuel-less if I use it to boil tea water too many times. Plus, I don't have to lug a tank on a bus and then into town to refill my gas tank. (I suppose it's not bad to still be mindful of not wasting energy, since gas is pricey everywhere, but I don't have to worry so much about it.) Also, the days of using a charcoal jiko are over--though I wouldn't mind grilling with my dad.
- Left-overs can be easily kept AND microwaved here. MICROWAVED! This realization was dulled a bit by living at Leah's house for the past couple weeks--I did have that ability there, too, though it still feels a bit unnatural even now. DING. ZAP. DONE.
- Wood-stove heat exists and is awesome.
- I'm in the same time-zone as other Americans...still weird because I'm jet-lagged and not quite here mentally yet. I also just have a hard time sleeping nowadays thanks to being sick, hence being wide-awake at 4:00 in the morning.
- I can actually think about things like shopping malls and hair-dressers. Woa.
- It really feels like it's becoming Thanksgiving time and Christmas time here! This is super exciting for me!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
November 15, Back Home
I found out my flight itinerary at 3:00 pm on Tuesday. I finally was able to leave the PC office at 5:00 pm (after signing a myriad number of forms) and was picked up from Leah's around 7:40. I left Dar at midnight, arrived in Amsterdam around 7:00 am, immediately re-boarded for Detroit, spent 2 hours adjusting to American currency and airport prices, and then boarded another plane. I got back to Bangor at around 4:00. I slept for the first time in my entire life on the flight to Amsterdam--I was so exhausted that I was falling asleep in the waiting station before we boarded. Then I met this lovely woman that happened to be assigned the seat next to me. She is an RPCV who married another PCV while serving in Thailand back in the 1970's. Her daughter and son-in-law are also RPCV's who now live as ex-pats in Dar. She has a grandson who speaks Swahili and they know all the PC staff. She was great to talk to on the way over/through customs. I also watched three movies: The Avengers, What to Expect When You're Expecting, and The Five Year Engagement. Lot's of TV time--crazy for my brain. I haven't watched that much television in months and months.
On the way to Maine I sat next to another guy who was fun to talk to and get to know a bit. He was coming back from Peru and had on shorts--which was CRAZY to me once we got to Maine. IT'S SO COLD HERE. It's going to take a while to adjust. Seriously, though. FROST.
My dog is wicked excited that I'm home, and made sure to jump up on my bed by 5:00 am. That was okay since I woke up by 4:00.
So far for me it's pretty surreal. I got to see Eric last night, and I unpacked all my souvenirs. Now time to start adjusting and getting over jet-lag....I'm sure I'll post later about how the re-adjustment process goes. For now I'm sipping on ginger-tea and contemplating how I'm going to get proof-of-residency so I can renew my license before my birthday next week!
On the way to Maine I sat next to another guy who was fun to talk to and get to know a bit. He was coming back from Peru and had on shorts--which was CRAZY to me once we got to Maine. IT'S SO COLD HERE. It's going to take a while to adjust. Seriously, though. FROST.
My dog is wicked excited that I'm home, and made sure to jump up on my bed by 5:00 am. That was okay since I woke up by 4:00.
So far for me it's pretty surreal. I got to see Eric last night, and I unpacked all my souvenirs. Now time to start adjusting and getting over jet-lag....I'm sure I'll post later about how the re-adjustment process goes. For now I'm sipping on ginger-tea and contemplating how I'm going to get proof-of-residency so I can renew my license before my birthday next week!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
November 13, Waiting Game...Again
Maybe it's the dehydration or the lack of nutrients in my body, or the four hours of sleep I got, but waiting around today is worse than usual.
I came in hoping to find out if my flight is leaving tonight. I'll hopefully hear at 2:00 what the deal is, but no one has told me what administrative steps I need to complete, or what forms I need to have squared-away. There is a big staff meeting, so I can't really talk to anyone in the office until that's over. It's just hard to sit here idly, especially knowing they'll probably all be going on lunch break once the meeting does let out.
I just can't wait to find things out! I'm supposed to get my stool sample results back today, in addition to finding out my flight info. I did sign a bunch of medical forms this morning, so that's good, but I still need to deal with my bank account. More money was deposited at 6:00 pm last night, so at the very least I'm going to hit up the ATM, regardless of whether I personally close my NMB account or not. I also need to close my NBC account, so I believe a driver is going to take me to do that swiftly and quickly.
I came in hoping to find out if my flight is leaving tonight. I'll hopefully hear at 2:00 what the deal is, but no one has told me what administrative steps I need to complete, or what forms I need to have squared-away. There is a big staff meeting, so I can't really talk to anyone in the office until that's over. It's just hard to sit here idly, especially knowing they'll probably all be going on lunch break once the meeting does let out.
I just can't wait to find things out! I'm supposed to get my stool sample results back today, in addition to finding out my flight info. I did sign a bunch of medical forms this morning, so that's good, but I still need to deal with my bank account. More money was deposited at 6:00 pm last night, so at the very least I'm going to hit up the ATM, regardless of whether I personally close my NMB account or not. I also need to close my NBC account, so I believe a driver is going to take me to do that swiftly and quickly.
Monday, November 12, 2012
November 12, Back from Zanzibar
So, the past three days I've been trying to tourist-around as best I can. I haven't really been energetic, but I figured I should at least try to see some things while I'm here!
On Saturday I went with a group of PCVs to a beach here in Dar. It was exhausting (somehow--makes me feel a bit pathetic) but absolutely beautiful! Turquoise blue waters, white sandy beaches, pretty palm trees swaying in the breeze. I camped out in a hammock for a while, and enjoyed watching the waves of the Indian Ocean come in and out. It would have been paradise if not for the obnoxious winds consistently blowing sand in my face.
On Sunday Jarrett (the South African artist staying at Leah's house) and I headed to Zanzibar. Jarrett got a lot of attention because of his dreads, but it was nice to not be the one getting yelled at! "Hey Rasta-man!" instead of "MZUNGU!"
We met up with Amanda, who is COSing, and another third-year volunteer named Dana. We got to see different parts of Stone Town, which actually reminded me a lot of places I've seen in southern Italy. We also checked out the Forodhani Gardens, which was AMAZING! Basically, the "Forodhani Gardens" are set-up as a nighttime seafood extravaganza. Fisherman have food stands where they grill all sorts of seafood, fish, vegetables, and meat. There's also fresh fruit and juice sold, which apparently is quite delicious. Since it's very touristy, many salesman try to force CDs and scarves on you. My favorite salesman was this one "fisherman" who changed accents depending on who he was talking to--very good at selling his food. He explained the left-over fish goes to the orphanage and that his family prepares the food to be cooked in the afternoons, blah, blah, blah. Very convincing guy!
Today Jarrett left early in the morning to go to work. Amanda and I went around a shopped a bit. We went to the food market to get spices and also browsed around the tourist shops. We took the ferry back around noon, and once I finally made it back to Leah's, I decided to crash-out on her couch. It hasn't been a good day health-wise since I'm feeling extra-dehydrated from all the sun exposure I've been getting. I am going to go out with Steven to convert my shillings to dollars soon. Weird to think about...
I find out tomorrow when I'm flying home--it's weird to be leaving so soon, but I'm ready to get on the plane. Waiting around is a tiresome game, and I can't wait to hug my parents! Plus, I really do need to see a doctor, and it will be nice to be home for my birthday and Thanksgiving. I'm just hoping my flight will be tomorrow night or Wednesday, and that all the form-signing and bank-closing activities tomorrow go smoothly!
On Saturday I went with a group of PCVs to a beach here in Dar. It was exhausting (somehow--makes me feel a bit pathetic) but absolutely beautiful! Turquoise blue waters, white sandy beaches, pretty palm trees swaying in the breeze. I camped out in a hammock for a while, and enjoyed watching the waves of the Indian Ocean come in and out. It would have been paradise if not for the obnoxious winds consistently blowing sand in my face.
On Sunday Jarrett (the South African artist staying at Leah's house) and I headed to Zanzibar. Jarrett got a lot of attention because of his dreads, but it was nice to not be the one getting yelled at! "Hey Rasta-man!" instead of "MZUNGU!"
We met up with Amanda, who is COSing, and another third-year volunteer named Dana. We got to see different parts of Stone Town, which actually reminded me a lot of places I've seen in southern Italy. We also checked out the Forodhani Gardens, which was AMAZING! Basically, the "Forodhani Gardens" are set-up as a nighttime seafood extravaganza. Fisherman have food stands where they grill all sorts of seafood, fish, vegetables, and meat. There's also fresh fruit and juice sold, which apparently is quite delicious. Since it's very touristy, many salesman try to force CDs and scarves on you. My favorite salesman was this one "fisherman" who changed accents depending on who he was talking to--very good at selling his food. He explained the left-over fish goes to the orphanage and that his family prepares the food to be cooked in the afternoons, blah, blah, blah. Very convincing guy!
Today Jarrett left early in the morning to go to work. Amanda and I went around a shopped a bit. We went to the food market to get spices and also browsed around the tourist shops. We took the ferry back around noon, and once I finally made it back to Leah's, I decided to crash-out on her couch. It hasn't been a good day health-wise since I'm feeling extra-dehydrated from all the sun exposure I've been getting. I am going to go out with Steven to convert my shillings to dollars soon. Weird to think about...
I find out tomorrow when I'm flying home--it's weird to be leaving so soon, but I'm ready to get on the plane. Waiting around is a tiresome game, and I can't wait to hug my parents! Plus, I really do need to see a doctor, and it will be nice to be home for my birthday and Thanksgiving. I'm just hoping my flight will be tomorrow night or Wednesday, and that all the form-signing and bank-closing activities tomorrow go smoothly!
Friday, November 9, 2012
November 10, Medical Separation Logistics
So, on a logistics level, here is a post to describe what being medically separated really means:
In the Peace Corps Manual, "Medical Separation" is defined and underlined in the following way:
In the Peace Corps Manual, "Medical Separation" is defined and underlined in the following way:
- If a V/T has or develops a medical condition that Peace Corps cannot medically accommodate or resolve within forty-five (45) days, the V/T will be medically separated. This decision is made by the Office of Medical Services (OMS) in consultation with the Peace Corps Medical Officer and, if needed, appropriate medical consultants.
- If a V/T is medically separated overseas, the Country Director (CD) will ensure that arrangements are made for the V/T's return travel to the United States, and that the Early Termination Email, Description of Service Statement, and other documentation are completed. See 8.1.1 "Termination Travel to a U.S. Home of Record and 9.0 "Required Documents for Early Termination." The Country Director will also ensure that the V/T is aware of his or her right to appeal medical separation under the provisions of Section 3.3 of this Manual Section.
- OMS will assist medically separated V/Ts in applying to the Office of Workers' Compensation Programs, Department of Labor, to obtain any post-service medical care or disability benefits for which they may be eligible under the Federal Employees' Compensation Act (FECA). See MS 266.
What Medical Separation means for me personally:
- I have already made multiple requests to be medically evacuated, not medically separated. These requests were obviously not met by the OMS. I have a chance to appeal to Washington, DC once again, although it is highly doubtful the decision will be repealed. I believe a more viable option now is to ask to be reinstated should my health improve and be deemed manageable in TZ. I can also look into re-enrollment. But, I'd rather not keep wasting my efforts fighting to be medically evacuated, and instead focus my efforts on getting healthy.
- REINSTATEMENT: Reinstatement is the return to service of a Trainee or Volunteer who, having previously early terminated or completed service, now wishes to return to his or her original country of assignment. A Trainee or Volunteer may be reinstated only to the country in which he or she served or for which he or she was trained to serve. The effective date (Paragraph 5.5.) of any reinstatement must be within one year of the date of the Trainee's or Volunteer's early termination or completion of service date, otherwise provisions of Paragraph 6.4. apply. A Trainee or Volunteer is often reinstated to complete the original term of service. However, the Country Director has authority to establish new COS date upon consideration of programmatic factors.
- RE-ENROLLMENT: Re-enrollment is the return to Peace Corps service of a former Trainee or Volunteer in a country other than the country of previous service for another full term of service (generally two years).
- I will not be able to get noncompetitive job eligibility, but my time in country does count towards my number of vacation days should I become employed by the federal government in the future. (Vacation time changes after two years of employment with the federal government. I get five months counted towards my two years thanks to my service here--meaning more vacation time more quickly if I get a federal job.)
- I do still qualify for the graduate school benefits under the Paul D. Coverdell Fellows Program, so long as the specific university is still on-board.
- I should be fully covered medically by worker's compensation, as I got sick while serving in Tanzania.
- The country director is happy to write me a recommendation letter, particularly about my ability to overcome adversity. I have also completed a "Description of Service" or DOS report, and will fill out more forms on Tuesday.
- I am privy to the career-resources information and guidance normally given to RPCVs.
- I leave Tuesday night or Wednesday most likely. I find out Tuesday, as Monday is a holiday. Nothing like short notice...
November 10, Separation Reflections
Yesterday I received the Office of Medical Service (OMS)'s final decision regarding my ability to stay in Tanzania, and ultimately, to keep serving as a volunteer.
I went in to the PC office at about 8:00 to meet Ezra. His flight was at 4:00 in the afternoon, so we agreed to go along with another COS'er to the Mwenge market to buy some last minute gifts. I couldn't find Dr. Makwabe, and I figured I'd probably have to wait until Tuesday to find out much anyway, so we left a little before nine. While on the bus, I received a phone call from Makwabe asking if I could come in. I explained that I was already on my way to town, and asked if I could hear the news over the phone. The PC office closes at 11:30 on Fridays, so it wasn't like I could easily just come in after lunch, and I wanted to hear whatever news he had for me as soon as possible.
I found out that I have been officially medically separated. They did not grant my request to be medically evacuated, though I'm not sure why. The country director is going to try and check-in on what led them to such a decision, though ultimately any further appeal I make probably won't go very far at this point.
I was pretty disappointed to hear that they aren't going to give me 45 days to get better in the states, which would have been the case if I was medically evacuated rather than medically separated. Medical separation means that I will no longer be continuing my service as a Peace Corps volunteer. Once I am sent home, the only real possibility of coming back is if I appeal for "medical reinstatement" once my health improves. I'm not sure if I will take that option, though the country director did encourage me to do so if I'm physically-fit to finish my service.
Although I'm disappointed by the harshness of the decision, I am very happy to no longer be stuck in a state of limbo. My primary focus now is getting my health back, and then figuring out what my next big step will be. I'm looking into graduate schools, job postings, Americorps teaching fellowships, etc. I've actually been handling everything pretty well mentally and emotionally--rolling with the punches if you will. It is disappointing that my service is ending, but there are many other opportunities out there yet to be discovered. I know that I will find a new, meaningful path once my health is better. So, in short, I'm dealing pretty well with the whole thing. I'm keeping a level-head and just focusing on what matters most right now: my health!
Being in the Peace Corps has been a wonderful experience, and I'm sad I won't be able to continue volunteering, but I won't forget the personal lessons I've learned throughout my time here. I also plan on keeping in touch with the wonderful people that I've met here, and I do hope to reinstate or at least come back to visit in the future. I know that I will always be part of a strong, cohesive network of caring, passionate PCVs, and I am so thankful that I got to spend five months in this beautiful country. I learned a lot about myself and my ability to push through adverse circumstances. I have learned to be more patient, adaptable, perseverant, and laid-back. Moreover, I now know more about what direction I'd like my life to go in, and I have come to acknowledge the importance of taking my dietary needs into account when making life decisions.
In a weird way, the universe gave me an off-ramp when my site was pulled. I would feel terrible if I had to tell my mkuu I wasn't staying at her school for medical reasons. I felt very close to my mkuu, and her nieces were like younger sisters to me. My mkuu was always very afraid I'd be sent back to the US because of the other PCVs in my region who had been sent home for medical reasons, and I honestly tried as hard as I humanly could to make sure I stayed by her side.
Although it can hardly be considered a good thing, it does weigh easier on my conscious to know that I couldn't go back to site even if I was 100% healthy. My mkuu was brutally attacked on her way back from church, an event that cannot be taken lightly. For safety's sake, she has been forced to transfer schools, meaning that she will no longer have a presence at Mlongwema Secondary School. Unfortunately, it's not safe to be at the school for my colleagues and me, either. I feel terrible for my students who no longer have anyone to teach them all thanks to the actions of a group of heartless men. I just hope that the government manages to find a new mkuu by January, and that the teachers resume their duties or otherwise get replaced as quickly as possible. Nobody is quite sure why the attack occurred (it was possibly religion-based, or might have had to do with the school administration), but it is extremely unfortunate that the school has basically been abandoned. I wish I could help my students, because they are truly eager and excited to learn, and it seems like a huge travesty for nobody to be there to teach them. My school was already short-staffed, but 3 teachers were better than none. It's very disheartening to know that my students have even less chance of success now, all because of some sort of personal vendetta against my headmistress.
Regardless, the silver-lining of this tragedy is that I am leaving this country and ending my service, but not abandoning my site for medical reasons. I had to leave my site for my own personal safety, there's no doubt about it. I can rest easily knowing that I truly fought to stay here. I have faced a number of adverse challenges over the past several months, but stayed as strong as possible and continued teaching despite the obstacles that kept coming my way. I have pushed, and would have continued to push, to stay, but ultimately being here is just no longer an option. In truth, I am glad to be going home to see a doctor, and I think it is important that I focus on getting healthy. I am reaching a point where it is physically unsafe for me to be here, and I really am looking forward to getting some medical answers and hopefully some medical help!
I appreciate all the support I have gotten and continue to receive! I hope that everyone understands that this has been a long, arduous road safety-wise and physically, but ultimately I'm optimistic about what the future will bring.
I went in to the PC office at about 8:00 to meet Ezra. His flight was at 4:00 in the afternoon, so we agreed to go along with another COS'er to the Mwenge market to buy some last minute gifts. I couldn't find Dr. Makwabe, and I figured I'd probably have to wait until Tuesday to find out much anyway, so we left a little before nine. While on the bus, I received a phone call from Makwabe asking if I could come in. I explained that I was already on my way to town, and asked if I could hear the news over the phone. The PC office closes at 11:30 on Fridays, so it wasn't like I could easily just come in after lunch, and I wanted to hear whatever news he had for me as soon as possible.
I found out that I have been officially medically separated. They did not grant my request to be medically evacuated, though I'm not sure why. The country director is going to try and check-in on what led them to such a decision, though ultimately any further appeal I make probably won't go very far at this point.
I was pretty disappointed to hear that they aren't going to give me 45 days to get better in the states, which would have been the case if I was medically evacuated rather than medically separated. Medical separation means that I will no longer be continuing my service as a Peace Corps volunteer. Once I am sent home, the only real possibility of coming back is if I appeal for "medical reinstatement" once my health improves. I'm not sure if I will take that option, though the country director did encourage me to do so if I'm physically-fit to finish my service.
Although I'm disappointed by the harshness of the decision, I am very happy to no longer be stuck in a state of limbo. My primary focus now is getting my health back, and then figuring out what my next big step will be. I'm looking into graduate schools, job postings, Americorps teaching fellowships, etc. I've actually been handling everything pretty well mentally and emotionally--rolling with the punches if you will. It is disappointing that my service is ending, but there are many other opportunities out there yet to be discovered. I know that I will find a new, meaningful path once my health is better. So, in short, I'm dealing pretty well with the whole thing. I'm keeping a level-head and just focusing on what matters most right now: my health!
Being in the Peace Corps has been a wonderful experience, and I'm sad I won't be able to continue volunteering, but I won't forget the personal lessons I've learned throughout my time here. I also plan on keeping in touch with the wonderful people that I've met here, and I do hope to reinstate or at least come back to visit in the future. I know that I will always be part of a strong, cohesive network of caring, passionate PCVs, and I am so thankful that I got to spend five months in this beautiful country. I learned a lot about myself and my ability to push through adverse circumstances. I have learned to be more patient, adaptable, perseverant, and laid-back. Moreover, I now know more about what direction I'd like my life to go in, and I have come to acknowledge the importance of taking my dietary needs into account when making life decisions.
In a weird way, the universe gave me an off-ramp when my site was pulled. I would feel terrible if I had to tell my mkuu I wasn't staying at her school for medical reasons. I felt very close to my mkuu, and her nieces were like younger sisters to me. My mkuu was always very afraid I'd be sent back to the US because of the other PCVs in my region who had been sent home for medical reasons, and I honestly tried as hard as I humanly could to make sure I stayed by her side.
Although it can hardly be considered a good thing, it does weigh easier on my conscious to know that I couldn't go back to site even if I was 100% healthy. My mkuu was brutally attacked on her way back from church, an event that cannot be taken lightly. For safety's sake, she has been forced to transfer schools, meaning that she will no longer have a presence at Mlongwema Secondary School. Unfortunately, it's not safe to be at the school for my colleagues and me, either. I feel terrible for my students who no longer have anyone to teach them all thanks to the actions of a group of heartless men. I just hope that the government manages to find a new mkuu by January, and that the teachers resume their duties or otherwise get replaced as quickly as possible. Nobody is quite sure why the attack occurred (it was possibly religion-based, or might have had to do with the school administration), but it is extremely unfortunate that the school has basically been abandoned. I wish I could help my students, because they are truly eager and excited to learn, and it seems like a huge travesty for nobody to be there to teach them. My school was already short-staffed, but 3 teachers were better than none. It's very disheartening to know that my students have even less chance of success now, all because of some sort of personal vendetta against my headmistress.
Regardless, the silver-lining of this tragedy is that I am leaving this country and ending my service, but not abandoning my site for medical reasons. I had to leave my site for my own personal safety, there's no doubt about it. I can rest easily knowing that I truly fought to stay here. I have faced a number of adverse challenges over the past several months, but stayed as strong as possible and continued teaching despite the obstacles that kept coming my way. I have pushed, and would have continued to push, to stay, but ultimately being here is just no longer an option. In truth, I am glad to be going home to see a doctor, and I think it is important that I focus on getting healthy. I am reaching a point where it is physically unsafe for me to be here, and I really am looking forward to getting some medical answers and hopefully some medical help!
I appreciate all the support I have gotten and continue to receive! I hope that everyone understands that this has been a long, arduous road safety-wise and physically, but ultimately I'm optimistic about what the future will bring.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
November 8, Limbo Stick
I trial packed my luggage last night--things barely fit space-wise, and I have no idea what anything weighs. I need to get my hands on a scale so I can figure out how much my two bags weigh!
This morning I came in to get my blood-pressure and such checked out. Good results from the tests that have come back so far. I have low blood-pressure and low white blood cells, but no enlarged organs or liver failure etc. Woot! My weight is staying more stable now as well--probably because my metabolism has slowed down, so I'm not dropping weight quickly anymore. Hopefully it's a good sign, since I'd rather not become a skeleton!
I should have a decision from the Washington, DC office by tomorrow, and if not, by Tuesday. So, basically just more waiting in limbo. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I do know that I will be sent home either way (and not to South Africa), so it's mostly a question of whether it's permanent yet, and when I'm actually heading out. I am hoping for medical evacuation and not immediate separation! I think they'll oblige my request, which will theoretically buy me 45 days to get better once I'm back home.
I'm feeling pretty tired so I plan to spend the afternoon relaxing. Ezra is headed back to Dar today, so I'm going to try to see him before he leaves tomorrow afternoon. There are also a bunch of PSDN people, and Zack is here for his mutilated knee, so there is lot's of PCV company around the office. :) Some of the RPCVs should also be heading back this weekend--so I'm hoping to do relaxing but fun things, like laying by the ocean or watching some bad American TV.
This morning I came in to get my blood-pressure and such checked out. Good results from the tests that have come back so far. I have low blood-pressure and low white blood cells, but no enlarged organs or liver failure etc. Woot! My weight is staying more stable now as well--probably because my metabolism has slowed down, so I'm not dropping weight quickly anymore. Hopefully it's a good sign, since I'd rather not become a skeleton!
I should have a decision from the Washington, DC office by tomorrow, and if not, by Tuesday. So, basically just more waiting in limbo. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I do know that I will be sent home either way (and not to South Africa), so it's mostly a question of whether it's permanent yet, and when I'm actually heading out. I am hoping for medical evacuation and not immediate separation! I think they'll oblige my request, which will theoretically buy me 45 days to get better once I'm back home.
I'm feeling pretty tired so I plan to spend the afternoon relaxing. Ezra is headed back to Dar today, so I'm going to try to see him before he leaves tomorrow afternoon. There are also a bunch of PSDN people, and Zack is here for his mutilated knee, so there is lot's of PCV company around the office. :) Some of the RPCVs should also be heading back this weekend--so I'm hoping to do relaxing but fun things, like laying by the ocean or watching some bad American TV.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
November 7, Election Awesomeness
Today I woke up at 3:00 am, got dressed, and headed to the embassy with Leah to watch the election results come in. The embassy staff made me leave my (turned-off) phone and my bag with security, which sucked since I couldn't twiddle with anything or text updates to other PCVs. Oh well. The party was nice--I had some mango and watermelon for breakfast, and then fixated myself on watching the polling results. It was pretty nerve-wracking for a number of hours, but ultimately by 7:30 am being glued to the screen paid off! On top of the AWESOME electoral victories today, I also had the chance to talk with the ambassador. He was very nice and cordial. Some of the staff also recognized me from swearing-in, which was kind of cool.
Once CNN made its prediction, most people cleared out of the embassy to go to work. Steven, one of the roommates here at Leah's house, was a total sweetheart and escorted me to the PC office and then to the Mwenge carvers market downtown. I was super dizzy and weak (partly from no sleep, partly from my general malnourished-sort-of-fatigue) so I didn't want to walk anywhere in Dar alone. I did a little bit of shopping and bartered my butt off. It feels good to get prices down all by myself! It was a fun afternoon, though I spent most of the time hearing only out of the left side of my head. For some reason my ear is still having a lot of problems, but I'm hoping the make-shift medicine they gave me will kick in soon!
I spent the afternoon relaxing at the house. I should find out tomorrow if I'm being medically evacuated or medically separated--it's DC's decision, though I requested to be evacuated before getting the official PC ax. Regardless of what they decide, my flight home will probably be sometime next week.
Tomorrow I should find out what other tests they're going to run while I'm in Dar. I have a feeling I'm in for a lot of paperwork in the future....
Once CNN made its prediction, most people cleared out of the embassy to go to work. Steven, one of the roommates here at Leah's house, was a total sweetheart and escorted me to the PC office and then to the Mwenge carvers market downtown. I was super dizzy and weak (partly from no sleep, partly from my general malnourished-sort-of-fatigue) so I didn't want to walk anywhere in Dar alone. I did a little bit of shopping and bartered my butt off. It feels good to get prices down all by myself! It was a fun afternoon, though I spent most of the time hearing only out of the left side of my head. For some reason my ear is still having a lot of problems, but I'm hoping the make-shift medicine they gave me will kick in soon!
I spent the afternoon relaxing at the house. I should find out tomorrow if I'm being medically evacuated or medically separated--it's DC's decision, though I requested to be evacuated before getting the official PC ax. Regardless of what they decide, my flight home will probably be sometime next week.
Tomorrow I should find out what other tests they're going to run while I'm in Dar. I have a feeling I'm in for a lot of paperwork in the future....
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
November 6, Five Months in Country
Happy Election Day! I hope you all utilized your voting rights today! Support the democratic process!
I am just hanging out in the PC Volunteer Lounge. I had an appointment here this morning. Apparently I'm approaching things in a very "well-adjusted" manner and handling my probable medically separation pretty well, so that's positive. I know ultimately things will work out for the best, and I'm trying to fight disappointment with optimism about what with transpire in the future. The older I get, the more I understand that life is full of detours. Plans often fall through or change along the way, but that's what makes living interesting. Following a linear road-map is boring, though the theoretical security of knowing that Point A will, in fact, lead to Point B is pretty alluring. I like planning, but if nothing else, I've learned to be more malleable and adaptive here than I have been in the past. I'm much better at going with the flow than I was a couple years ago--and I certainly am enjoying the ride more, even with all the ups and downs I've been facing.
In truth, I have and continue to give PC my all, and if I can stay here I will, but I'm also acceptant that health-wise I may need to change paths. I'm a fighter, and I will push through things as much as I can, but I also know that my health does need to improve for me to be an efficient volunteer, and really, for me to be a TRULY happy person. I recognize that I need to get my body back on track, one way or another. I truly believe that things are going to work out, and once I'm healthy, the world shall be my oyster. A gritty one, perhaps, but just having a healthy body would be my "pearl" at this point! :)
Anyway, I should get more information about my blood-work today. I'm also hoping to go out with the other volunteers who are around the city right now. I've decided not to wander too much alone in the city due to my recent history of fainting spells, but I would like to utilize my time here in Dar for at least a little bit of fun.
Tomorrow at around 4:00 am I'm also going to hit up the Election Party being hosted by the US Embassy. It should be a fun way to find out the election results, and I'm looking forward to the camaraderie!
Update:
So my blood-work was normal, aside from having a low white blood cell count. I'm going in to talk to the doctor tomorrow about what that means for me.
I am just hanging out in the PC Volunteer Lounge. I had an appointment here this morning. Apparently I'm approaching things in a very "well-adjusted" manner and handling my probable medically separation pretty well, so that's positive. I know ultimately things will work out for the best, and I'm trying to fight disappointment with optimism about what with transpire in the future. The older I get, the more I understand that life is full of detours. Plans often fall through or change along the way, but that's what makes living interesting. Following a linear road-map is boring, though the theoretical security of knowing that Point A will, in fact, lead to Point B is pretty alluring. I like planning, but if nothing else, I've learned to be more malleable and adaptive here than I have been in the past. I'm much better at going with the flow than I was a couple years ago--and I certainly am enjoying the ride more, even with all the ups and downs I've been facing.
In truth, I have and continue to give PC my all, and if I can stay here I will, but I'm also acceptant that health-wise I may need to change paths. I'm a fighter, and I will push through things as much as I can, but I also know that my health does need to improve for me to be an efficient volunteer, and really, for me to be a TRULY happy person. I recognize that I need to get my body back on track, one way or another. I truly believe that things are going to work out, and once I'm healthy, the world shall be my oyster. A gritty one, perhaps, but just having a healthy body would be my "pearl" at this point! :)
Anyway, I should get more information about my blood-work today. I'm also hoping to go out with the other volunteers who are around the city right now. I've decided not to wander too much alone in the city due to my recent history of fainting spells, but I would like to utilize my time here in Dar for at least a little bit of fun.
Tomorrow at around 4:00 am I'm also going to hit up the Election Party being hosted by the US Embassy. It should be a fun way to find out the election results, and I'm looking forward to the camaraderie!
Update:
So my blood-work was normal, aside from having a low white blood cell count. I'm going in to talk to the doctor tomorrow about what that means for me.
Monday, November 5, 2012
November 5, Denial & Inventory
Last night I couldn't sleep well, but I did manage to finally crash at 3:00 am and stay in bed until 9:00 this morning. I slept in my fuzzy frog PJs. It was great, and impressive since Dar is by no means a cool place to be. Go electric ceiling fans!
I finished the (revised) body-journal that I've been working on. My original journal got wet and partly ruined. Since I had to re-write things to make my notes legible and coherent, I decided to track the weekly differences I've been experiencing in terms of symptoms, food intake, water intake, etc. It was interesting to see what has gotten "better" and what has gotten "worse". Overall, last week the only positive improvement was that I drank an average of 29 oz of water, which was higher than all of the previous weeks. On the negative side of things, I ate less food on average this week and also had more severe symptoms more often. I think it will be helpful to keep using this sort of thing in the future to see which symptoms are getting better and which are getting worse. Maybe I'll discover some discernible cause-and-effect information! OR, maybe the probiotics will work their magic, and I'll be healthy as a horse in no time. The latter would be nice, but so far how I'm feeling today isn't making that seem overly likely. Frustrating!
Anyway, it rained on my walk over to the PC office. It wasn't bad because it was warm outside and I had an umbrella. Plus, it was good to stretch my legs. Makwabe called me on my way over, so I told him I'd stop into the office. Much to my surprise, they wanted to do more blood work. Apparently the office in Washington D.C. is pretty concerned about things, and it didn't help that last week I got sicker. While I've recovered from the downward spiral, I am still not doing well, which I was upfront about. I've been taking the following approach with my health: not downplaying, not exaggerating, just reporting the facts as I experience them. I'm doing so in the hopes that I'll get the optimal amount of help, while also being able to continue staying here.
In any case, depending on the blood-work results, I may get more information about what happens next. Regardless, Dr. Makwabe said that if I haven't improved by Thursday, that I'll likely be getting medically separated. I'm still a little unclear what the qualifications are for improvement, but I'll find out very shortly--and hopefully be able to argue for medical evacuation before being officially removed from service. I've kind of been in denial about the whole thing since I have a feeling 3 days isn't really enough time to get better, but still am hopeful things will turn-around suddenly. It's too early to know what will happen, but it's hard not to speculate and feel the pressures of realism pushing down on my brain. There are multiple possible outcomes to this week, however, so it is too early to really know what's coming next.
For now, it seems that there is a strong possibility I will be on a plane to South Africa or Maine early next week. Which, I'm not sure, but I have a feeling I'll be flying somewhere.
In any case, I helped the PC office figure out what they're sending back to Brittany, and then worked on my own heap of luggage. They left most of my stuff from site in one of the PC cars until today, so I went through my things to describe what items were in what bag. I took some items out of the bags that I want to take home with me should I be medically separated, such as my hot pots and khangas. I also left instructions of who to give things to should my service come to a premature close. It was emotionally really weird, and I'm still just really in denial about things. It doesn't seem possible that I could be gone this time next week!! I hope I stick it through, but I am trying to accept that going back home has its merits. Good medical care, good family care, and good food/medicine availability. I'm still arguing to PC that I should be medically evacuated, not medically separated. Either way, if I end up on a plane next week, I will be seeing a gastroenterologist when I disembark!
Anyway, keep wishing me luck! (I need it-I broke a mirror today.) If I do end up stateside, I know I won't be hopeless. There are many options and opportunities out there--I just really do love being here, being a volunteer, and teaching. But, I suppose for now I'll focus on my health!
I finished the (revised) body-journal that I've been working on. My original journal got wet and partly ruined. Since I had to re-write things to make my notes legible and coherent, I decided to track the weekly differences I've been experiencing in terms of symptoms, food intake, water intake, etc. It was interesting to see what has gotten "better" and what has gotten "worse". Overall, last week the only positive improvement was that I drank an average of 29 oz of water, which was higher than all of the previous weeks. On the negative side of things, I ate less food on average this week and also had more severe symptoms more often. I think it will be helpful to keep using this sort of thing in the future to see which symptoms are getting better and which are getting worse. Maybe I'll discover some discernible cause-and-effect information! OR, maybe the probiotics will work their magic, and I'll be healthy as a horse in no time. The latter would be nice, but so far how I'm feeling today isn't making that seem overly likely. Frustrating!
Anyway, it rained on my walk over to the PC office. It wasn't bad because it was warm outside and I had an umbrella. Plus, it was good to stretch my legs. Makwabe called me on my way over, so I told him I'd stop into the office. Much to my surprise, they wanted to do more blood work. Apparently the office in Washington D.C. is pretty concerned about things, and it didn't help that last week I got sicker. While I've recovered from the downward spiral, I am still not doing well, which I was upfront about. I've been taking the following approach with my health: not downplaying, not exaggerating, just reporting the facts as I experience them. I'm doing so in the hopes that I'll get the optimal amount of help, while also being able to continue staying here.
In any case, depending on the blood-work results, I may get more information about what happens next. Regardless, Dr. Makwabe said that if I haven't improved by Thursday, that I'll likely be getting medically separated. I'm still a little unclear what the qualifications are for improvement, but I'll find out very shortly--and hopefully be able to argue for medical evacuation before being officially removed from service. I've kind of been in denial about the whole thing since I have a feeling 3 days isn't really enough time to get better, but still am hopeful things will turn-around suddenly. It's too early to know what will happen, but it's hard not to speculate and feel the pressures of realism pushing down on my brain. There are multiple possible outcomes to this week, however, so it is too early to really know what's coming next.
For now, it seems that there is a strong possibility I will be on a plane to South Africa or Maine early next week. Which, I'm not sure, but I have a feeling I'll be flying somewhere.
In any case, I helped the PC office figure out what they're sending back to Brittany, and then worked on my own heap of luggage. They left most of my stuff from site in one of the PC cars until today, so I went through my things to describe what items were in what bag. I took some items out of the bags that I want to take home with me should I be medically separated, such as my hot pots and khangas. I also left instructions of who to give things to should my service come to a premature close. It was emotionally really weird, and I'm still just really in denial about things. It doesn't seem possible that I could be gone this time next week!! I hope I stick it through, but I am trying to accept that going back home has its merits. Good medical care, good family care, and good food/medicine availability. I'm still arguing to PC that I should be medically evacuated, not medically separated. Either way, if I end up on a plane next week, I will be seeing a gastroenterologist when I disembark!
Anyway, keep wishing me luck! (I need it-I broke a mirror today.) If I do end up stateside, I know I won't be hopeless. There are many options and opportunities out there--I just really do love being here, being a volunteer, and teaching. But, I suppose for now I'll focus on my health!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
November 4, Pool
Today I had a good morning organizing my stuff. I listened to music, tried on some American clothes I brought here but have never worn (see shorts picture on FB for example), and repacked things a little. I had a mini-mango, which was delicious, and forced one of those mini-packets of fish down for lunch. I started feeling on-par to what I did a couple weeks ago--certainly not well, but much more functional than literally being stuck laying on a couch. I actually got cocky enough to walk twenty minutes to the US Embassy. I met Ezra there with his ex-pat friend, Josh, to hang by the pool. Walking there was a poor decision, though. I realized quickly that I didn't actually feel as great as I told myself I did, nor did the heat help my dehydration levels. As I sat in the pool, and subsequently lazed around in one of those pool-side-lounging chairs, I started feeling progressively sicker. Later on I tried a piece of coconut, and that just totally did me in. What started as a good day health wise seems to be ending on a sour note. Fortunately, I am able to laze around Leah's house and listen to music, so I'm glad I have a chill place to be! I'm hoping tomorrow is going to be a better day. I'm going to try refocusing my diet strictly on vegetables and protein, though it's hard not to try the many delicious fresh fruits they have here. Fruit is my all-time, hands-down, absolute favorite food group, and while I have been limiting my intake of it, I do have a tendency to pick things like bananas and mangoes when I can. I suppose it'd be better for my stomach if I cut down on the sugar and acid, and started pounding more spinach, so I will do better!
Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm going to spend it eating cucumbers, not mangoes! (Even though that teeny, tiny fit-in-your-hand mango was delicious and sent from heaven. Worth it....for today.)
Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm going to spend it eating cucumbers, not mangoes! (Even though that teeny, tiny fit-in-your-hand mango was delicious and sent from heaven. Worth it....for today.)
Saturday, November 3, 2012
November 3, Fleecy, Fuzzy, Fantastically Froggy PJs
I am currently sitting in the nicely, but not overly, air-conditioned living room at Leah's house. I hate strong AC, so the lightly cool air is perfect. I'm listening to Leah's roommate, Steven, play some pretty guitar tunes and vegetating a little bit. I have been amazingly thirsty all day, so I'm sipping at some water and feeling the joys of fast internet. Not a bad way to spend Saturday afternoon, especially after traveling.
The car ride up here was good. I learned a lot about Joel, our AWESOME security guy, while he and the driver had some breakfast in Mombo. We left Lushoto at 7:00 am (amazingly on time), but stopped for chapati and some kind of beef soup once we hit the bottom of the mountain. I had a little fruit and ordered tea, but they had already put 10,000 tablespoons of sugar in the whole thermos, so I didn't end up drinking it.
FYI: Mombo is about 45 minutes to 1 hour away from Lushoto, and is basically a big stopping point for a lot of bus traffic. If you go up the mountain, you will reach Lushoto, but other directions will take you to Moshi, Arusha, Tanga, Dar etc.
We stopped several times along the way so that Joel and the driver could buy produce. It's cheaper to get it road-side a lot of the time, though usually you need to buy such items in bulk. Joel got mangoes, pineapples, tomatoes, carrots, and some other vegetables like onions--all in huge plastic bags. The mangoes and pineapples seemed pretty delicious, but I didnt want to buy 20 of them. We arrived in Dar around 2:00 pm, but with traffic it took us a full hour to get to Leah's house. I took some of my luggage out to keep here at the house. The rest of my stuff will be stored at the PC office until I leave Dar....when that will happen and where I'll be going is still a question!
I finally opened up the packages my mom sent me. I was super excited by a couple early birthday gifts from my grandmother: fleece pj pants, two nice quick-dry towels, and food! I got some bouillon cubes and canned chicken, so I might try making some chicken soup this week. I was also really happy to see the nice tins my mom sent me. (Angel tin from my childhood and the frog pjs pretty much made my day.)
I may or may not see Ezra later on today. He was out touristing, and Leah is out at the beach. I'm curious to see how the week goes! But feeling generally pretty happy and positive today. Life is going to work out for the best--one way or another! Or, I sure hope so anyway!
The car ride up here was good. I learned a lot about Joel, our AWESOME security guy, while he and the driver had some breakfast in Mombo. We left Lushoto at 7:00 am (amazingly on time), but stopped for chapati and some kind of beef soup once we hit the bottom of the mountain. I had a little fruit and ordered tea, but they had already put 10,000 tablespoons of sugar in the whole thermos, so I didn't end up drinking it.
FYI: Mombo is about 45 minutes to 1 hour away from Lushoto, and is basically a big stopping point for a lot of bus traffic. If you go up the mountain, you will reach Lushoto, but other directions will take you to Moshi, Arusha, Tanga, Dar etc.
We stopped several times along the way so that Joel and the driver could buy produce. It's cheaper to get it road-side a lot of the time, though usually you need to buy such items in bulk. Joel got mangoes, pineapples, tomatoes, carrots, and some other vegetables like onions--all in huge plastic bags. The mangoes and pineapples seemed pretty delicious, but I didnt want to buy 20 of them. We arrived in Dar around 2:00 pm, but with traffic it took us a full hour to get to Leah's house. I took some of my luggage out to keep here at the house. The rest of my stuff will be stored at the PC office until I leave Dar....when that will happen and where I'll be going is still a question!
I finally opened up the packages my mom sent me. I was super excited by a couple early birthday gifts from my grandmother: fleece pj pants, two nice quick-dry towels, and food! I got some bouillon cubes and canned chicken, so I might try making some chicken soup this week. I was also really happy to see the nice tins my mom sent me. (Angel tin from my childhood and the frog pjs pretty much made my day.)
I may or may not see Ezra later on today. He was out touristing, and Leah is out at the beach. I'm curious to see how the week goes! But feeling generally pretty happy and positive today. Life is going to work out for the best--one way or another! Or, I sure hope so anyway!
Friday, November 2, 2012
November 2, Moved from Site
So, today Joel came in a PC car to pick Hannah, Glenn, and me up. I stopped and got two packages from the post-office in Lushoto, and then we headed to Mlola. It started down-pouring on our way, which made the road quite muddy. Fortunately it didn't rain very hard in Mlola, so putting my stuff in the car went well. More importantly, we were able to get in and out without any car issues or breakdowns. Success!
Glenn packed up Brittany's house (which is on the way to mine) and Hannah helped me pack up mine. It only took me 40 minutes to get everything together with her help, so that was really good! I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to my students and no teachers were around, but I did say goodbye to Anjelina. She gave me 10,000 kisses and a khanga, which was sweet. We told them I was going to the "hospital" since PC has a policy against saying it's a "security issue" when leaving a site. The real reason I'm not going back is because of what happened to my mkuu--but I guess that's on a need-to-know basis.
I managed to take most of my things with me in the car. I gave my charcoal jiko and charcoal to a teacher at the primary school next-door. I also offered up my 200,000 shilling mattress and bed frame to my mkuu or Anjelina, or whoever wants it. Same goes for that coffee table I had made, and the big water tubs I have outside of my house. Kind of a shame, but I suppose it's all just stuff! It was a little weird emotionally to leave my site forever. It went better than I thought though, so I'm thankful for that. And Hannah really did make things easier for me, so I'm happy that they had her come with me!
Glenn made small-talk fun while he was in the car, and we had some good laughs, which lightened the mood of the day. Plus, I had a fun evening watching Nat-Geo with Glenn, Hannah, Riah, and Bill. AND we walked into town to get things like water and money, which was good for my legs, albeit not for my tiredness.
I am headed to Dar tomorrow at 7:00 (so...probably 8:00 in TZ time) in the morning. I'm currently listening to the new Mumford album--so good! I'm happy to be going back to Dar. I think it will be nice to be at Leah's house and to see how that crew has been doing, and I also get to chill with Ezra tomorrow!
I'm hoping this week I will show some signs of progress health-wise! (Please, body, please!) It's hard to stay peppy when my body isn't cooperating with me, but I am working hard to keep my optimism up. I'm being realistic about the seriousness of things, but also staying hopeful, and I think that's a good balance. Or...I hope so anyway. I was told my probiotics might take a little bit to kick in... I sincerely hope they start helping me out soon!
Glenn packed up Brittany's house (which is on the way to mine) and Hannah helped me pack up mine. It only took me 40 minutes to get everything together with her help, so that was really good! I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to my students and no teachers were around, but I did say goodbye to Anjelina. She gave me 10,000 kisses and a khanga, which was sweet. We told them I was going to the "hospital" since PC has a policy against saying it's a "security issue" when leaving a site. The real reason I'm not going back is because of what happened to my mkuu--but I guess that's on a need-to-know basis.
I managed to take most of my things with me in the car. I gave my charcoal jiko and charcoal to a teacher at the primary school next-door. I also offered up my 200,000 shilling mattress and bed frame to my mkuu or Anjelina, or whoever wants it. Same goes for that coffee table I had made, and the big water tubs I have outside of my house. Kind of a shame, but I suppose it's all just stuff! It was a little weird emotionally to leave my site forever. It went better than I thought though, so I'm thankful for that. And Hannah really did make things easier for me, so I'm happy that they had her come with me!
Glenn made small-talk fun while he was in the car, and we had some good laughs, which lightened the mood of the day. Plus, I had a fun evening watching Nat-Geo with Glenn, Hannah, Riah, and Bill. AND we walked into town to get things like water and money, which was good for my legs, albeit not for my tiredness.
I am headed to Dar tomorrow at 7:00 (so...probably 8:00 in TZ time) in the morning. I'm currently listening to the new Mumford album--so good! I'm happy to be going back to Dar. I think it will be nice to be at Leah's house and to see how that crew has been doing, and I also get to chill with Ezra tomorrow!
I'm hoping this week I will show some signs of progress health-wise! (Please, body, please!) It's hard to stay peppy when my body isn't cooperating with me, but I am working hard to keep my optimism up. I'm being realistic about the seriousness of things, but also staying hopeful, and I think that's a good balance. Or...I hope so anyway. I was told my probiotics might take a little bit to kick in... I sincerely hope they start helping me out soon!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
November 1, Avocados
One of my favorite things to eat here are avocados. They're big, delicious, and cheap compared to anything I'd ever find in New England. I can often get a big avocado for 100 or 200 shillings--that's dirt cheap for such a nutrition-packed food. They're sold everywhere, but are pretty much always already ripe, so you can't buy too many at a time. I don't eat an over-abundance of them, but fairly often I'll eat 1/2 an avocado to try to get some fatty nutrition into my body.
Nonetheless, my love affair with the little green wonders may very well be finished. Over the past several months, I've been noticing that my lips, throat, and tongue itch when I eat things like avocados. It hasn't been the case every time I've had them, however, so I've tried to just limit my intake to a couple per week in the hopes the symptoms were just coincidental or relatively benign. I'm starting to think the danger of being allergic to them is real, however. Today I decided to eat half of a small avocado for lunch. Not only did I get an itchy mouth, throat, and ears, but my throat also tightened up. I had a hard time breathing for about an hour after eating it, which to me is not something I want to mess around with. So, I'm going to add avocados to my long, long, long list of foods to avoid, at least for now. Perhaps once my body is doing better avocados and I will be friends again, but for now we must part ways. I can't have tortilla chips anyway, and really guacamole is my favorite avocado product, so I'll just wait until I can eat the two together again. And have access to an EpiPen.
Really, it just sucks because now there's just another common TZ food I can't eat. I'm going to be considered the weirdest person ever when I go to my new site. Frustrating.
In other news, the power is out at Glenn's house again....and we're extremely low on water--though I did have a nice bucket bath today. (Thank goodness!) There's been kind of a draught here, so hopefully the rainy season will bless this region with some water-from-the-skies soon. Tony said he's never seen Lushoto so dry in the 17 years he's been here. The creek in Kongei (Glenn's village) is all dried up, and the plants around here are looking very thirsty. It is looking like it might rain this afternoon, though, so maybe Lushoto will be in luck!
I'm going to get stuff at my site tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about going there since it seems like it might be a stressful thing to pack and say "goodbye" to people pretty much forever. But, at least I'll have my things. I think Hannah or Glenn should be coming to help me out. We will see how things go...
---
UPDATE: It's raining! Hooray! Also, the power came back, but then went away because it's SERIOUSLY down-pouring. Glenn's floor is actually being flooded as well speak, so he has to keep raking the water out. But this is very good news for the villagers around here!
It's been kind of a hard day emotionally (terrible nightmares/inability to stay asleep have led me to be tired and a bit blue) but things are bound to get better I suppose. I am really enjoying listening to the sound of the rain. It smells great, too. Kind of like being immersed in a greenhouse. Mmm.
Nonetheless, my love affair with the little green wonders may very well be finished. Over the past several months, I've been noticing that my lips, throat, and tongue itch when I eat things like avocados. It hasn't been the case every time I've had them, however, so I've tried to just limit my intake to a couple per week in the hopes the symptoms were just coincidental or relatively benign. I'm starting to think the danger of being allergic to them is real, however. Today I decided to eat half of a small avocado for lunch. Not only did I get an itchy mouth, throat, and ears, but my throat also tightened up. I had a hard time breathing for about an hour after eating it, which to me is not something I want to mess around with. So, I'm going to add avocados to my long, long, long list of foods to avoid, at least for now. Perhaps once my body is doing better avocados and I will be friends again, but for now we must part ways. I can't have tortilla chips anyway, and really guacamole is my favorite avocado product, so I'll just wait until I can eat the two together again. And have access to an EpiPen.
Really, it just sucks because now there's just another common TZ food I can't eat. I'm going to be considered the weirdest person ever when I go to my new site. Frustrating.
In other news, the power is out at Glenn's house again....and we're extremely low on water--though I did have a nice bucket bath today. (Thank goodness!) There's been kind of a draught here, so hopefully the rainy season will bless this region with some water-from-the-skies soon. Tony said he's never seen Lushoto so dry in the 17 years he's been here. The creek in Kongei (Glenn's village) is all dried up, and the plants around here are looking very thirsty. It is looking like it might rain this afternoon, though, so maybe Lushoto will be in luck!
I'm going to get stuff at my site tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about going there since it seems like it might be a stressful thing to pack and say "goodbye" to people pretty much forever. But, at least I'll have my things. I think Hannah or Glenn should be coming to help me out. We will see how things go...
---
UPDATE: It's raining! Hooray! Also, the power came back, but then went away because it's SERIOUSLY down-pouring. Glenn's floor is actually being flooded as well speak, so he has to keep raking the water out. But this is very good news for the villagers around here!
It's been kind of a hard day emotionally (terrible nightmares/inability to stay asleep have led me to be tired and a bit blue) but things are bound to get better I suppose. I am really enjoying listening to the sound of the rain. It smells great, too. Kind of like being immersed in a greenhouse. Mmm.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
October 31, Fruit Bats
Happy Halloween!
I miss Hocus Pocus! And pumpkins! And costumes! To be honest, I even miss the soon-to-come Christmas decorations. I just love Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas--so this is a great stretch of time for me. October through December provides great excitement!
That reminds me: Three weeks until I'm 23! Crazy. I have no idea where I'll be on my birthday...or if I'll be able to have any of the gluten-free cake mix my mom sent. That'd be so great!
The roosters outside Glenn's house woke me up early and I wasn't able to sleep well in general, so I was extra lethargic today. I spent most of the day researching etymology (I'm a dork) and reading the Amber Spyglass. I also sat in the sun for a little bit today and this evening we walked down to see the fruit bats living in Glenn's village. It was very cool to see. They're extremely loud and hang shockingly close together on the papaya and pine trees around here. They were flying around even though it wasn't dark out yet--and screeching quite loudly. They're very yellow in color and have chihuahua faces, and there were hundreds of them hanging in the trees and swarming the air. Kind of a fun spook-takular activity for Halloween!
Anyway, overall today was a better day than yesterday health-wise. I had been getting steadily worse since Friday, but I seem to be stalling the down-hill spiral. I'm not sure if that's really "progress", but I'll take any improvement over how I felt yesterday! I'm hoping eventually I'll actually start feeling healthy and keeping more food and water down, but for now I'm just happy that I'm able to sit up as I write this!
I miss Hocus Pocus! And pumpkins! And costumes! To be honest, I even miss the soon-to-come Christmas decorations. I just love Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas--so this is a great stretch of time for me. October through December provides great excitement!
That reminds me: Three weeks until I'm 23! Crazy. I have no idea where I'll be on my birthday...or if I'll be able to have any of the gluten-free cake mix my mom sent. That'd be so great!
The roosters outside Glenn's house woke me up early and I wasn't able to sleep well in general, so I was extra lethargic today. I spent most of the day researching etymology (I'm a dork) and reading the Amber Spyglass. I also sat in the sun for a little bit today and this evening we walked down to see the fruit bats living in Glenn's village. It was very cool to see. They're extremely loud and hang shockingly close together on the papaya and pine trees around here. They were flying around even though it wasn't dark out yet--and screeching quite loudly. They're very yellow in color and have chihuahua faces, and there were hundreds of them hanging in the trees and swarming the air. Kind of a fun spook-takular activity for Halloween!
Anyway, overall today was a better day than yesterday health-wise. I had been getting steadily worse since Friday, but I seem to be stalling the down-hill spiral. I'm not sure if that's really "progress", but I'll take any improvement over how I felt yesterday! I'm hoping eventually I'll actually start feeling healthy and keeping more food and water down, but for now I'm just happy that I'm able to sit up as I write this!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
October 30, Laying Around
Today I did a little bit of laundry since I was running low on certain items. I originally only packed for a week of travel, so being gone for two weeks is a bit more of a stretch. I'm still not feeling well enough to do much of anything, so I've been laying on Glenn's couch. Lately my nausea has been pretty intense, so even sitting is usually overly unpleasant. To resolve this, I am switching protein powder types and continuing my probiotics--I hope that helps things improve. My body isn't happy with me at all, but I really am hoping things change over the next two weeks. Being sick for months is pretty frustrating, but I'm hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The medical office (OMS) in Washington, DC is okay with me continuing service for now, but will medically separate me if I don't get better. I'm really happy I'm getting the chance to resolve my health issues! I was worried they might freak-out about the fainting spell I had and cut my service short, but for now I'm still being given leeway. I'm very thankful for that.
So far there's no timeline on when I need to get better by, nor what "better" really means. Dr. Makwabe also doesn't really seem to be sure what will qualify me as too unhealthy to serve, so I guess I just need to focus on getting better for now, and worry about medical separation should I get to that point. It's just hard not to wonder what would lead them to pull the plug. I suspect it has to do with weight, but I'm not sure.
These next couple of weeks are going to be an interesting sort of limbo-land, but I'm trying to enjoy myself as much as possible. It's great to see Glenn and Hannah, and I also think being back in Dar next weekend will be nice. Leah's house is ridiculously nice, and I enjoy being in an urban environment. Electricity is fun! Although, it's funny to me that it's such a big deal to lose power in the US for a couple hours. I lived in a site with NO electricity to be found. People here do it their entire lives. Even when I am in Lushoto, my banking town, our power cuts out all the time. Last night it went out for a number of hours, though it's back today. People in the US don't know how good they have it. If there's one thing I've learned, it's to appreciate what you have---especially the simple things. I also now recognize a lot of conveniences as superfluous, but I will admit that luxuries like western toilets and hot showers are very nice to have. When I do wind up back in the States, doing laundry in a machine is going to be awesome, but I don't mind doing it by hand, either. Having a fridge will be great, but I also know how to cook single serve meals. It's all in how you look at things.
Nonetheless, not having a site/having health issues does make things feel weird right now. My mind has a lot of down time and room to wander. But I try to keep myself from indulging negative or worrisome thinking, and instead think about the good things in my life. I have good friends, family, and staff behind me. For now I'm still keeping my optimism up! I can get through this! As my mom's friend Sarah said, I am "Super Jedi"!
The medical office (OMS) in Washington, DC is okay with me continuing service for now, but will medically separate me if I don't get better. I'm really happy I'm getting the chance to resolve my health issues! I was worried they might freak-out about the fainting spell I had and cut my service short, but for now I'm still being given leeway. I'm very thankful for that.
So far there's no timeline on when I need to get better by, nor what "better" really means. Dr. Makwabe also doesn't really seem to be sure what will qualify me as too unhealthy to serve, so I guess I just need to focus on getting better for now, and worry about medical separation should I get to that point. It's just hard not to wonder what would lead them to pull the plug. I suspect it has to do with weight, but I'm not sure.
These next couple of weeks are going to be an interesting sort of limbo-land, but I'm trying to enjoy myself as much as possible. It's great to see Glenn and Hannah, and I also think being back in Dar next weekend will be nice. Leah's house is ridiculously nice, and I enjoy being in an urban environment. Electricity is fun! Although, it's funny to me that it's such a big deal to lose power in the US for a couple hours. I lived in a site with NO electricity to be found. People here do it their entire lives. Even when I am in Lushoto, my banking town, our power cuts out all the time. Last night it went out for a number of hours, though it's back today. People in the US don't know how good they have it. If there's one thing I've learned, it's to appreciate what you have---especially the simple things. I also now recognize a lot of conveniences as superfluous, but I will admit that luxuries like western toilets and hot showers are very nice to have. When I do wind up back in the States, doing laundry in a machine is going to be awesome, but I don't mind doing it by hand, either. Having a fridge will be great, but I also know how to cook single serve meals. It's all in how you look at things.
Nonetheless, not having a site/having health issues does make things feel weird right now. My mind has a lot of down time and room to wander. But I try to keep myself from indulging negative or worrisome thinking, and instead think about the good things in my life. I have good friends, family, and staff behind me. For now I'm still keeping my optimism up! I can get through this! As my mom's friend Sarah said, I am "Super Jedi"!
Monday, October 29, 2012
October 29, To Glennifer's House We Go
I can't believe that it's almost November! Time really flies! It's crazy to think of winter coming back home when it's so hot outside right now, though nights in Lushoto do get quite chilly! I got adjusted to Dar's heat, so the cool nights here haven't been my favorite...at least I don't have to deal with Hurricane Sandy, though! Good luck to you all back on the East Coast!
Anyway, Tony, the owner of Lawns, gave us a ride to Glenn's house this morning. It was super nice, but something atypical for him to do as far as I can tell. Tony is Greek, but was raised here in Tanzania. He seems to have family located in a lot of places. His sisters live in Australia and his brother lives in Morogoro, but I'm not sure about everybody else. He's big into soccer, has a long white-haired ponytail, and fairly ruddy complexion. His Land Rover is 17 years old and is covered with uncouth bumper stickers. A.K.A. "Perfect Woman: Nymphomaniac with a Liquor Store." He's a very interesting man, and him giving us a ride out all the way out here was very sweet. I think he is just concerned that I'm not feeling well, and wanted to make sure I made it to Glenn's house okay. Regardless, it was a very nice gesture, and I'm glad we didn't have to pay for a cab.
In any case, this weekend wasn't a good one for me health-wise, nor has today been going very well so far. I am hoping I start feeling better soon, but as of right now I'm just laying on Glenn's couch and sipping Hibiscus tea now and then. I started the probiotics and protein powder on Saturday, but I'm not sure how long it will take for those to start working. I really hope my health starts going back uphill rather than continuing on this down-hill trend. I am really excited for IST and our PCV "Prom", so that's giving me something to look forward to.
Right now I'm waiting for Hannah to stop by. She lives very to Glenn's site and has finished her teaching and lesson planning for the day. Glenn has a busy week of tree planting and American-voyage preparation, and he's going out shortly to do some work on his tree nursery. I think I'll be spending a lot of time reading this week--glad I have my kindle! I also hope to fiddle around with his guitar a bit--it's cute and travel sized as it's made for a student rather than an adult. I'd recommend such a thing for future PCVs who have any sort of musical inclination. That, or a ukelele. It's nice to have something to do here that doesn't require electricity or the company of other people.
Anyway, Tony, the owner of Lawns, gave us a ride to Glenn's house this morning. It was super nice, but something atypical for him to do as far as I can tell. Tony is Greek, but was raised here in Tanzania. He seems to have family located in a lot of places. His sisters live in Australia and his brother lives in Morogoro, but I'm not sure about everybody else. He's big into soccer, has a long white-haired ponytail, and fairly ruddy complexion. His Land Rover is 17 years old and is covered with uncouth bumper stickers. A.K.A. "Perfect Woman: Nymphomaniac with a Liquor Store." He's a very interesting man, and him giving us a ride out all the way out here was very sweet. I think he is just concerned that I'm not feeling well, and wanted to make sure I made it to Glenn's house okay. Regardless, it was a very nice gesture, and I'm glad we didn't have to pay for a cab.
In any case, this weekend wasn't a good one for me health-wise, nor has today been going very well so far. I am hoping I start feeling better soon, but as of right now I'm just laying on Glenn's couch and sipping Hibiscus tea now and then. I started the probiotics and protein powder on Saturday, but I'm not sure how long it will take for those to start working. I really hope my health starts going back uphill rather than continuing on this down-hill trend. I am really excited for IST and our PCV "Prom", so that's giving me something to look forward to.
Right now I'm waiting for Hannah to stop by. She lives very to Glenn's site and has finished her teaching and lesson planning for the day. Glenn has a busy week of tree planting and American-voyage preparation, and he's going out shortly to do some work on his tree nursery. I think I'll be spending a lot of time reading this week--glad I have my kindle! I also hope to fiddle around with his guitar a bit--it's cute and travel sized as it's made for a student rather than an adult. I'd recommend such a thing for future PCVs who have any sort of musical inclination. That, or a ukelele. It's nice to have something to do here that doesn't require electricity or the company of other people.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
October 28, Halloween Was a Success!
So, our Halloween gathering was quite the hit! I had fun in my Little Merjade costume--it came out GREAT. I was totally amongst friends so it was okay that my costume was something you'd never wear out and about in TZ. (It is very safe here at Lawns in general, so it was the perfect place for a costume party.) In fact, there were no problems of any sort last night aside from a couple of us just not feeling super well. It was just a fun time with friends, so that was really nice. Cake and brownies were made and eaten for the occasion, and we were given some free wine by the owner Tony. I definitely can't drink anything aside from water and tea right now, but I still had a lot of fun. I'm really happy the PC let me come back to Lushoto for the weekend--I needed to see my people!
Ezra and I danced to "Gangnam Style", which was fun, but completely depleted whatever energy I had remaining post-fainting spell. I made it a couple more songs before sitting down and then eventually wound up going back to my room to lay down. I can't wait to be active and healthy again!! Normally I can dance for hours, but I just really haven't been feeling well enough to do anything physical.
I'm hanging in Lushoto today. I decided to stay here until tomorrow morning. I'll head to Glenn's site tomorrow. I may go out and do something soon because I'm getting a little stir-crazy. Fresh air is in order one way or another I think!
Ezra and I danced to "Gangnam Style", which was fun, but completely depleted whatever energy I had remaining post-fainting spell. I made it a couple more songs before sitting down and then eventually wound up going back to my room to lay down. I can't wait to be active and healthy again!! Normally I can dance for hours, but I just really haven't been feeling well enough to do anything physical.
I'm hanging in Lushoto today. I decided to stay here until tomorrow morning. I'll head to Glenn's site tomorrow. I may go out and do something soon because I'm getting a little stir-crazy. Fresh air is in order one way or another I think!
Saturday, October 27, 2012
October 27, Market Blackout (Round 2)
So, today hasn't been optimal health-wise. I didn't do well yesterday in terms of holding things down and ended up getting extremely dehydrated. I started "operation-rehydration" this morning, but apparently it was a little too late. I picked up my packages (two arrived! probiotics!) and then went to help Ezra pick out some gifts for his friends back home. As we were looking at fabrics I suddenly realized I was going to faint, and for the second time in the Lushoto market, I blacked-out. Fortunately after regaining my consciousness and vision, I was given a ride back to Lawns by the owner, Tony, who had his car at the bank. I spent the remainder of my day hanging at Lawns in my hotel room. Hannah made beautiful Halloween decorations and I finished my Little Merjade costume. We made a play-list and I rested. We are having a small Halloween celebration/goodbye party for Ezra. It should be really nice!
Anyway, I am very happy I finally have my long-awaited package full of canned protein, probiotics, and protein powder. Hopefully things will start improving and this plan will work! I really just want to be healthy! So far today I've been just trying to rehydrate as much as I can. We will see how things go. Chronic sickness is not fun in any way, nor is it fun to freak out a bunch of Tanzanians by fainting in front of their duka. But I'm optimistic and hoping I'll see some turn-around within the next two weeks! Wish me luck!
Anyway, I am very happy I finally have my long-awaited package full of canned protein, probiotics, and protein powder. Hopefully things will start improving and this plan will work! I really just want to be healthy! So far today I've been just trying to rehydrate as much as I can. We will see how things go. Chronic sickness is not fun in any way, nor is it fun to freak out a bunch of Tanzanians by fainting in front of their duka. But I'm optimistic and hoping I'll see some turn-around within the next two weeks! Wish me luck!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
October 25, Good News!!
I have been calling various people and chatting on FB, so I'm going to present today in short-form. I received a lot of info--mostly good--about what is happening. I had a meeting with the country director, EB, who gave me a lot of answers! She's a total sweetheart. She reminds me a lot of my mom's friend Joan, who I consider a second mother. Talking to her was very comforting, even though the topic at hand is serious. She's great.
- 1) I will be going to Lushoto tomorrow, as I wanted! I'm hoping to pick up my package this weekend, but as of this morning it still wasn't there. Makes me nervous that it won't be there, but I'll be in Lushoto until next Friday, so it's bound to arrive by then I think. I JUST REALLY NEED THAT PROTEIN POWDER AND THOSE SUPPLEMENTS! Otherwise, I'm kind of stuck in the sick-and-never-improving-boat. ALSO, I get to see my Lusho-crew! It's Ezra's last weekend! It should be a good time!
- I will be spending my time at Glenn's house, so I'll be able to cook for myself and maybe write some songs with him. :) I bought a guitar today for 50,000 shillings from another volunteer who is now an RPCV. The neck is slightly cracked, which is why she sold it to me so cheaply. (An acoustic guitar for $32?!....I'm okay with a little crack. It still sounds quite nice!)
- Hilda, my APCD, will be looking for a replacement site. It should have easy access to fruits and vegetables, and hopefully protein. I should be going to that site in around two weeks. So basically, it breaks down like this: Next week I will be in Lushoto. The week after that I will be back in Dar, staying here at Leah's house. The week after that I will be at my NEW site.
- My new headmaster/headmistress will be informed that I am not doing well physically, and that things may not work out. So there isn't pressure there, and they should know that I'm coming in with a medical condition.
- If I am not getting better, I ultimately can 'pull the plug' on staying here. The PCMOs also have discretion to suggest that I be medically evacuated or medically separated. Nonetheless, there are options like "interrupted service", so I could potentially come back even if such a decision is made. I'm not there yet, so I'm not going to worry about such things until I get there. BUT, basically I have a lot of say in the process of what happens next, which is really nice. I'm not the kind of person to give in, so it will take a lot for me to call it quits, but the option is there if I need it. Hopefully I make a quick turn around, but if I don't, my options aren't just one big dead end. Or so they say for now!
- I will be getting all my things from site next Friday (November 2nd). Hopefully it is all still there!
- OMS doesn't consider me the kind of person who is just trying to get out of service, but unable to admit that's whats behind my illness. EB also seems to really think I'm a solid volunteer-- I feel really good about that.
In short, I'm in a much better place than I thought I was! I'm still in limbo, but not horribly lost. I have a timeline of when things will be happening, and I am being reassigned a site. Basically it's just a question of whether or not my health improves. I am bound and determined to get better, and I hope I will be able to lead a sustainable life here. I am SO happy that I talked to our country director (CD), and I'm excited to go to Lushoto tomorrow! It's going to be great! Little merjade live in action!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
October 24, Mlola will no longer be "Home"
Today I woke up and had a nice chat with Jarrett, the South African who is staying in Leah's house (my ex-pat) until December. He is a visiting artist who works with her. The house is decorated with a lot of cool ocean-prints and portraits, so she seems to be a good artist on top of being a diplomat. I also met a friend of hers who does projects out in Lushoto--good contact to make! I just got back to her house now--it's about 7:30 pm. I had a really hard time finding the place in the dark. I took a bajaj (three-wheeled motorcycle taxi of sorts) and he looped around a couple times before we identified the correct house. It's hard to tell what's what in this neighborhood because everything is fenced in with security guards, but I actually did remember the right house! I just wasn't positive I remembered right...I guess I just need to trust my instincts!
I spent most of the day with some of the other COS'ers at an RPCV's house. He had a HUGE TV, mini-gym, AC, fridge, and so on. Colin and Mike (the two people I spent most of the day with) played a lot of video games. Super safi house! Being an ex-pat really means you get to live in style. In any case, I enjoyed myself this afternoon. Socially anyway. I've given up on my body making things easy. I also did a little bit of shopping--RETAIL THERAPY!
By the way, RPCV's are Returned Peace Corps Volunteers--so basically everyone here this week will be getting that title at one point or another.
Anyway, they still haven't been able to find the medicine I need for my ear in any of the pharmacies around here. I'm hoping tomorrow they'll have it in the office for me since I spent half the day with my ear feeling like it was underwater. The tube isn't working correctly, so my hearing has been cut in half on the right side, and sometimes it feels like I'm on an airplane or in a swimming pool. Other times I just don't hear properly.
Anyway, bigger news:
I found out that the two other teachers in Mlola have left my school as they don't feel safe. The police don't seem to be doing much, and my site will no longer be my site. I'm happy in the sense that I don't want to go back to an unsafe place, but I'm pretty bummed out that things didn't work out there. I love my mkuu and her nieces, I was finally getting established in the town, and I was SUPER excited about my library project. I've been putting a lot of time into my house, and I've spent money on furniture, in addition to building a strong rapport with many of my students. I also love being near Lushoto, and I really don't want to change banking towns or be far away from my Lusho-crew. Hopefully I'll find out soon where I'll be staying and for how long. The issue is that I may be medically separated, so they aren't going to find a site for me until I am medically cleared. Unfortunately, my package still hasn't arrived, so I'm kind of waiting idly for my protein powder and probiotic supplements. I'm not sure how much time I have to get better, nor whether I'll be in Dar or staying with another volunteer, so I'm very much in limbo-land. Despite this, I feel pretty good about things. I had a lot of fun today, and I'm trying to see this week as a kind of mini-vacation. It's nice not to have to work while feeling sick, and I'm enjoying my time here despite all the tumultuous stuff that's happening. I'm staying as positive as I can. I think I have a good chance of sticking through things and making it all two years, but I also know I have a good chance of being sent back home. Really I'm not sure which is more likely yet....I'm trying not to speculate for now, and instead focusing on enjoying my time here while it lasts, but it is a pretty serious spot to be stuck in....
I must say it does feel like the Tanga curse is taking hold again. I can feel the ice getting thinner below my feet. I am glad that the staff are very kind and helpful, though. I can tell they really do care, and that's nice. On the other hand, it is hard to be in such a weird place right now. I'm just trying to roll with it, but it's especially difficult since I'm also dealing with the fact that my bf and my friend Brittany won't be coming back to TZ. The Lushoto team is dwindling fast it seems--especially since Ezra is COS'ing next week. (CONGRATS TO A SURVIVOR OF THE TANGA REGION!) But hopefully things will pan out in the end--one way or another. Maybe I'll get healthy and be put in a nice, new site that's close to lot's of good food I can eat! That would be ideal. But I'm also acceptant of the fact that if my body doesn't start getting better, it is important for me to go back to the states and get help. I'm trying not to panic or freak out, and I'm staying level-headed for now. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up the positivity--so wish me well I guess?
I honestly would just like to be healthy. Being sick is exhausting. And dehydration and poor nutrition are definitely taking a toll on me. It's hard to refuse food from the host country nationals, and it's also unfortunate that I can't really eat out and celebrate COSing with the other PCVs while here in Dar. Food is a big deal socially! And it is nice to go out with everyone, but it does suck I can't order along with them.
In short, I really like being in Tanzania, and I want to volunteer all 24 months. I think I'm good at lesson planning and I'm getting better at teaching. I think my Swahili will improve, and I'm getting more comfortable socializing and dealing with feelings of personal space invasion. I guess it all depends on how quickly my body improves, though. My health will determine if I'm able to keep volunteering here realistically. I know there's no point in being in TZ if I'm deteriorating into a stick figure, so the question really is: Will I get better here, and how long will it take?
Also...how long will the PC give me?
I spent most of the day with some of the other COS'ers at an RPCV's house. He had a HUGE TV, mini-gym, AC, fridge, and so on. Colin and Mike (the two people I spent most of the day with) played a lot of video games. Super safi house! Being an ex-pat really means you get to live in style. In any case, I enjoyed myself this afternoon. Socially anyway. I've given up on my body making things easy. I also did a little bit of shopping--RETAIL THERAPY!
By the way, RPCV's are Returned Peace Corps Volunteers--so basically everyone here this week will be getting that title at one point or another.
Anyway, they still haven't been able to find the medicine I need for my ear in any of the pharmacies around here. I'm hoping tomorrow they'll have it in the office for me since I spent half the day with my ear feeling like it was underwater. The tube isn't working correctly, so my hearing has been cut in half on the right side, and sometimes it feels like I'm on an airplane or in a swimming pool. Other times I just don't hear properly.
Anyway, bigger news:
I found out that the two other teachers in Mlola have left my school as they don't feel safe. The police don't seem to be doing much, and my site will no longer be my site. I'm happy in the sense that I don't want to go back to an unsafe place, but I'm pretty bummed out that things didn't work out there. I love my mkuu and her nieces, I was finally getting established in the town, and I was SUPER excited about my library project. I've been putting a lot of time into my house, and I've spent money on furniture, in addition to building a strong rapport with many of my students. I also love being near Lushoto, and I really don't want to change banking towns or be far away from my Lusho-crew. Hopefully I'll find out soon where I'll be staying and for how long. The issue is that I may be medically separated, so they aren't going to find a site for me until I am medically cleared. Unfortunately, my package still hasn't arrived, so I'm kind of waiting idly for my protein powder and probiotic supplements. I'm not sure how much time I have to get better, nor whether I'll be in Dar or staying with another volunteer, so I'm very much in limbo-land. Despite this, I feel pretty good about things. I had a lot of fun today, and I'm trying to see this week as a kind of mini-vacation. It's nice not to have to work while feeling sick, and I'm enjoying my time here despite all the tumultuous stuff that's happening. I'm staying as positive as I can. I think I have a good chance of sticking through things and making it all two years, but I also know I have a good chance of being sent back home. Really I'm not sure which is more likely yet....I'm trying not to speculate for now, and instead focusing on enjoying my time here while it lasts, but it is a pretty serious spot to be stuck in....
I must say it does feel like the Tanga curse is taking hold again. I can feel the ice getting thinner below my feet. I am glad that the staff are very kind and helpful, though. I can tell they really do care, and that's nice. On the other hand, it is hard to be in such a weird place right now. I'm just trying to roll with it, but it's especially difficult since I'm also dealing with the fact that my bf and my friend Brittany won't be coming back to TZ. The Lushoto team is dwindling fast it seems--especially since Ezra is COS'ing next week. (CONGRATS TO A SURVIVOR OF THE TANGA REGION!) But hopefully things will pan out in the end--one way or another. Maybe I'll get healthy and be put in a nice, new site that's close to lot's of good food I can eat! That would be ideal. But I'm also acceptant of the fact that if my body doesn't start getting better, it is important for me to go back to the states and get help. I'm trying not to panic or freak out, and I'm staying level-headed for now. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up the positivity--so wish me well I guess?
I honestly would just like to be healthy. Being sick is exhausting. And dehydration and poor nutrition are definitely taking a toll on me. It's hard to refuse food from the host country nationals, and it's also unfortunate that I can't really eat out and celebrate COSing with the other PCVs while here in Dar. Food is a big deal socially! And it is nice to go out with everyone, but it does suck I can't order along with them.
In short, I really like being in Tanzania, and I want to volunteer all 24 months. I think I'm good at lesson planning and I'm getting better at teaching. I think my Swahili will improve, and I'm getting more comfortable socializing and dealing with feelings of personal space invasion. I guess it all depends on how quickly my body improves, though. My health will determine if I'm able to keep volunteering here realistically. I know there's no point in being in TZ if I'm deteriorating into a stick figure, so the question really is: Will I get better here, and how long will it take?
Also...how long will the PC give me?
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
October 23, Ears
So, I'm feeling positive today! Hoping to get some more information this afternoon about what is going on health and site wise. They should get my blood work back this afternoon, and I'm hoping to talk to Joel about my mkuu's situation ASAP. Things are going to be okay!
I'll be moving to an ex-pat's house after 5:00 today--hoping it's going to be really safi! I have a terrible headache today, but I'd be down for a movie on a big screen TV.
I went to the doctor--they sent me to a really nice hospital down by the ocean! He looked at my ear and prescribed me drops. He also told me to do this weird breathing exercise since something is wrong with the tube that goes from my inner ear to my throat. Apparently forcing air through the tube should help. If it doesn't work, I'll have to get some fancy diagnostic test to find out what is going on. I have been having issues with my right ear, and my hearing is being adversely effected. Hopefully things will resolve themselves quickly in that regard! Stomach-wise I'll be in limbo for a while I think...
ADDITION:
So, I'm sitting at the ex-pats house. She's young and really cool. She kind of fell into a job at the embassy, which is neat. Super speedy internet and a really nice place, though no TV as I had hoped. The bathroom is killer, though.
I am not feeling well head or stomach wise tonight, so I may lay low. I do want to go hang out with the other PCVs, though. They're really fun! I just wish I could eat and drink with them, but having company is enough for me. :)
I'm trying to get permission to go back to Lushoto on Friday to get my package. PC couldn't find my probiotics or protein powder unfortunately. I'm hoping that they'll have a site decision tomorrow. I told them about my previous sexual harassment issue since it may be linked to what happened--who knows. Blood-work came back normal!
I'll be moving to an ex-pat's house after 5:00 today--hoping it's going to be really safi! I have a terrible headache today, but I'd be down for a movie on a big screen TV.
I went to the doctor--they sent me to a really nice hospital down by the ocean! He looked at my ear and prescribed me drops. He also told me to do this weird breathing exercise since something is wrong with the tube that goes from my inner ear to my throat. Apparently forcing air through the tube should help. If it doesn't work, I'll have to get some fancy diagnostic test to find out what is going on. I have been having issues with my right ear, and my hearing is being adversely effected. Hopefully things will resolve themselves quickly in that regard! Stomach-wise I'll be in limbo for a while I think...
ADDITION:
So, I'm sitting at the ex-pats house. She's young and really cool. She kind of fell into a job at the embassy, which is neat. Super speedy internet and a really nice place, though no TV as I had hoped. The bathroom is killer, though.
I am not feeling well head or stomach wise tonight, so I may lay low. I do want to go hang out with the other PCVs, though. They're really fun! I just wish I could eat and drink with them, but having company is enough for me. :)
I'm trying to get permission to go back to Lushoto on Friday to get my package. PC couldn't find my probiotics or protein powder unfortunately. I'm hoping that they'll have a site decision tomorrow. I told them about my previous sexual harassment issue since it may be linked to what happened--who knows. Blood-work came back normal!
Monday, October 22, 2012
October 22, 10 Positive Things
1. I had a GREAT evening with the other PCVs. They're a really fun class! And I met a fellow Poli Sci-Italian major who is one year into service! So cool!
2. The Peace Corps staff is SUPER supportive. I feel very well taken care of by them.
3. I love being anywhere warm/hot, so Dar is really nice for me!
4. I was able to buy lot's of canned fish today, coconut oil, teas, and a dietary supplement that I figure can only help me at this point.
5. I have the best friends here and back home. And a great, loving family.
6. I'm going to have a little merjade outfit for Halloween one way or another--so awesome.
7. Glenn Legacki and I have determined we have the EXACT same hair color. We have deemed it angelic gold. It's awesome, and we recognize others may be jealous of our demigod locks.
8. I can take a hot shower here! And use electricity! And have lights at 11:42 pm!
9. I am learning to navigate my way around Dar es Salaam better, and so far it has been tranquil where I've been going! *Knock on wood*
10. I know that ultimately I can get through this. What that means, I'm not sure yet, and I don't have total control over whether or not I stay etc. But I do know that I'm finally going to be given the tools I need to get healthy. I'm also being given the time I need to be safe. Joel is taking the incident with my mkuu very seriously, so I know that I won't be put at a site that's dangerous. That's great. I'm glad I'm in good hands. Honestly, I am hoping I can turn my health around. In the end I hope to push through this rough patch and be one of the toughest PC volunteers to ever serve in Tanzania. If my health doesn't improve, however, I will be happy to do what I need to do to get better. I'm going to give it my all....Health and safety are big priorities for me, but I'm also not one to give in easily. I will make sure that whatever happens is in my own best interest, and so will PC, but I'm also not going to throw in the towel just yet. Whatever happens, I have options, so I feel good knowing in my heart that I will get through this whether it means staying here or winding up back in the states.
2. The Peace Corps staff is SUPER supportive. I feel very well taken care of by them.
3. I love being anywhere warm/hot, so Dar is really nice for me!
4. I was able to buy lot's of canned fish today, coconut oil, teas, and a dietary supplement that I figure can only help me at this point.
5. I have the best friends here and back home. And a great, loving family.
6. I'm going to have a little merjade outfit for Halloween one way or another--so awesome.
7. Glenn Legacki and I have determined we have the EXACT same hair color. We have deemed it angelic gold. It's awesome, and we recognize others may be jealous of our demigod locks.
8. I can take a hot shower here! And use electricity! And have lights at 11:42 pm!
9. I am learning to navigate my way around Dar es Salaam better, and so far it has been tranquil where I've been going! *Knock on wood*
10. I know that ultimately I can get through this. What that means, I'm not sure yet, and I don't have total control over whether or not I stay etc. But I do know that I'm finally going to be given the tools I need to get healthy. I'm also being given the time I need to be safe. Joel is taking the incident with my mkuu very seriously, so I know that I won't be put at a site that's dangerous. That's great. I'm glad I'm in good hands. Honestly, I am hoping I can turn my health around. In the end I hope to push through this rough patch and be one of the toughest PC volunteers to ever serve in Tanzania. If my health doesn't improve, however, I will be happy to do what I need to do to get better. I'm going to give it my all....Health and safety are big priorities for me, but I'm also not one to give in easily. I will make sure that whatever happens is in my own best interest, and so will PC, but I'm also not going to throw in the towel just yet. Whatever happens, I have options, so I feel good knowing in my heart that I will get through this whether it means staying here or winding up back in the states.
October 22, Bad Day
So, today I received the following news, that I still am processing:
- The PC will be providing me with probiotic supplements and most likely also with protein powder. This hasn't been given to me yet, but hopefully soon. I'm very happy!
- If the probiotics and protein powder don't work, I will medically evacuated to see a gastroenterologist. I will also be medically separated, meaning my service will end. This is because I can't continue on being sick like this and serve as a volunteer, so it makes sense, but I do REALLY want to be here, so I'm going to try to stay.
- My mkuu (headmistress) was attacked at 7 pm last night. She was walking back to our school compound from the church, and beaten with stones etc. She's okay, but leaving Mlola. She will also be transferring schools if she can, and advised me not to go home. Peace Corps is investigating WHY it happened, and if my site is safe to eventually return to.
- I will be staying in Dar all week. I may switch to staying with an ex-pat family, but I'm not sure. For now I'm happy at the Econolodge since I have lot's of volunteer company.
- I can find coconut oil and canned fish here in Dar.
- I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow about an ear problem I've been having. I'm also going to chat with a counselor about everything that's happened in the last month.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
October 21, One Month Until My Birthday
Today I was feeling very inspired on my bus ride to Dar. I'm going to beat this sickness! I have to! And I'm going to travel and see awesome things, be a great volunteer, and study for the GRE in my spare time. And make my house awesome.
Woot!
Anyway, despite my burst of optimism and inspiration, the ride to Dar was fairly unpleasant. I was sandwiched between a girl who threw up the entire way there (who also had 3 chickens in tow that alternated between flipping out and sleeping) and a family with a 3-month old that definitely soiled its diaper about 2 hours into the 8 hour journey. My back was also terribly uncomfortable from the angle of the seats, and I felt sick on top of my usual car sickness, so I was glad to arrive in Dar after sitting all that time!
I took a taxi to the hotel and got a room here, then met up with a bunch of the kids who are COS'ing. We watched a little Tv and then we all went out for dinner. They got HUGE burgers at this fast-food joint here in the city. I was a bit envious. I normally can't have burgers like that, though, so I guess it'd be about the same even if I was healthy and able to eat much right now. On my best day I have no bun, no cheese, no mayo, no fun.
On our way back to the Econolodge we saw a car get hijacked! I've never seen grand theft auto live-in-action before. A crowd chased after the speeding vehicle, but as far as I could tell the driver managed to get away. At least for now...I'd be scared to be a thief that's caught in this country.
I'm going in to the office early tomorrow to figure out what tests they're running etc. Hopefully I get some probiotics from the office! And some answers!
Woot!
Anyway, despite my burst of optimism and inspiration, the ride to Dar was fairly unpleasant. I was sandwiched between a girl who threw up the entire way there (who also had 3 chickens in tow that alternated between flipping out and sleeping) and a family with a 3-month old that definitely soiled its diaper about 2 hours into the 8 hour journey. My back was also terribly uncomfortable from the angle of the seats, and I felt sick on top of my usual car sickness, so I was glad to arrive in Dar after sitting all that time!
I took a taxi to the hotel and got a room here, then met up with a bunch of the kids who are COS'ing. We watched a little Tv and then we all went out for dinner. They got HUGE burgers at this fast-food joint here in the city. I was a bit envious. I normally can't have burgers like that, though, so I guess it'd be about the same even if I was healthy and able to eat much right now. On my best day I have no bun, no cheese, no mayo, no fun.
On our way back to the Econolodge we saw a car get hijacked! I've never seen grand theft auto live-in-action before. A crowd chased after the speeding vehicle, but as far as I could tell the driver managed to get away. At least for now...I'd be scared to be a thief that's caught in this country.
I'm going in to the office early tomorrow to figure out what tests they're running etc. Hopefully I get some probiotics from the office! And some answers!
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